J Place

2012-01-19T04:51:00.001-08:00

The kiddos and I have been studying the life of Christ. As I have prepared to teach it, I have been often impressed with Him. I just began today to look more thoroughly at the calling of the fishermen. I was still carrying around my young child take in this story. I remember being taught and impressed by these guys who with blind faith left everything to follow this man they didn't know because of His commanding and compelling presence.
Studying this more carefully, I understand that these men had been following Jesus around for a while already - maybe close to a year. John's gospel gives us time markers which help to see that progression of things.
With the knowledge that Peter, Andrew, James, and John already knew Jesus well when He called them to be fishers of men, I am impressed with Jesus far more than with the men. Oh sure, it took remarkable faith and loyalty to leave *everything* and go away with Jesus. However, it the Son of Man,Jesus, who impacted them greatly enough to build in their hearts such great faith. They had been John's followers first (John 1:35-42.) Then when being "introduced" to Jesus by John with such confidence on John's part, they began to follow Jesus around, going with Him to the wedding at Cana - John 2:1-11 - then all the way to Jerusalem and back again to Galilee - John 1:12 - 2:46. By the time He called them to follow Him from their fishing expedition at the sea of Galilee, Jesus had displayed such remarkable wisdom, purity, and power that walking away from everything was easy.
Am I that impressed with Jesus? Do I find it easy to follow Him? (Matthew 11:28-30) This is really convicting to me. Jesus expressed frustration as seen in John that people had to have a sign to believe. They didn't find Him alone to be enough reason for belief. He walked on the earth as the Son of God pouring out the wonderful new covenant straight from the Father. What a privilege indeed to leave everything and follow the Son of the Most High God, Creator and Master of all! Oh that He would remind me of that all along the way!

2012-01-07T09:29:00.001-08:00

I am looking for some advice. Over the years I have had children make something for me or someone else that I, or the other person, end up not knowing what should be done with it. It is for that reason that I am not a fan of cards. When I receive one it may really touch me, but then I don't know what to do with it. I feel guilty, ungrateful, and wasteful throwing them away. I have saved some for crafts, which isn't bad, but even then they build up. It's like that with those little gifts that are made by little hands or dug out of their pile of stuffed animals. What do you do with them?
The thing I want advice about is what to do when I have a sap for a child who wants to give gifts for everyone's special day or occasion. The gifts are, again, an old toy or stuffed animal that was grabbed up without any thought but how fun it is to give something, or a hastily created something or other.
I have explained that when we give a gift we do so for the benefit of the recipient, and that it should cost something of us. It doesn't change the always present process though. I don't want to "hurt feelings," but I know how awkward it is to receive one of these gifts. (After my surgery, a child gave me a baby toy belonging to them simply because they wanted to give a gift.)
How do I encourage thoughtfulness but refine the gift giving itself? Personally I think it's better not to give a gift than to give a useless one just for the sake of giving one.
Let me know what you think.

2012-01-05T22:06:00.001-08:00

Over the years I have off and on thought about he "sharp disagreement" that Paul and Barnabas had in Acts 15. I have seen misapplications of that story for the end of excuse making in some difficult disagreement. I have found myself championing Barnabas while not really vilifying Paul, but because I prefer his side and identify more with it.

A recent discussion made me think more about the disagreement between these two men. I kept wondering at the question of how to know when to be a Paul and when to be a Barnabas. Further, I have been asking why is there a picking of sides. Neither man was wrong in the disagreement. Both had valid, even noble, reasons for their opinions. So what then? How do you apply this in your own disagreements?

My conclusion thus far is respect and humility. Sometimes there are disagreements with a right and a wrong side. The incident with Paul and Barnabas, however, isn't that. Both men were thinking and deciding rightly but oppositely. Both men were obviously pleasing to God. However, they DISAGREED.

Paul was about the business of preaching the gospel and of strengthening the saints. It was his mission, his life, his passion. Barnabas was a man for the individual. He was an encourager of the small person, not just the huge mob. Paul's way of thinking led to great productivity and many victories for God. Barnabas's way of thinking led to the reformation of an individual. Both men had a grand impact. Both men loved God and honestly pursued His goals, and that is all that really matters.

This story seems far less to me a lesson in how to resolve a fight (though it may be that) and more of an admonishment to respect and be grateful for the equally useful, though very different, gifts, methods and personalities of each other.

So when you hear "Paul" arguing his case with you, or when you hear "Barnabas" pleading his, evaluate honestly. Is the other person deciding something sinfully, or is it just different from your best ideas? Again, be honest - humble. Maybe you are wrong. Be willing to check into what God has to say about a matter and accept the truth. When that is done, if neither person has a sinful stance, then respect the one opposite of yours and do everything with the motive of glorifying God on His terms. Be a Barnabas. Be a Paul. Either is valid.

2011-12-26T07:11:00.001-08:00

Sorry about the partial post. I hit a wrong button.
Anyway, he peddled along the interstate on the way to the small town where he preached sometimes. A tired driver fell asleep at the wheel and struck the young man from behind killing him instantly with wounds so bad that he was difficult to identify. At his funeral his powerful, sophisticated father spoke of him before a photo presentation of his son's life. He insisted that a picture of him with his long, beautiful hair be prominent. He spoke emotionally of his son's reason for having the long hair and relented from his passionate disapproval of it. His pride overflowed as the death of his son ripped away the prejudice from his eyes to see that his son had "become all things to all people so that by all means [he] might win some."
To connect this story with my recent thoughts I need to tell you about the sermon preached yesterday morning. Our son, in his near shoulder length dreds and his ghetto style clothes, presented a message of truth and inherent profundity. I know there are several (most?) members of the church who find our son's "look" repugnant. I wondered yesterday, though, if that "look" opened the hearts of those few people who were there only because of the holiday and their family loyalty. Had he become to these few the very heart softening ingredient they needed to accept the truth?
This son has wanted to be a counselor at a young men's leadership camp. He has been refused because of his hair and other unconventional stuff. He is perceived as a bad influence. I know I am his mom and have that emotional cloud around my thinking, but this refusal has frustrated me. I have wondered if he might be *just* the person to reach the one who would not otherwise be reached.
So what do you think about my questions regarding stereotypes? I have conflicting thoughts most of the time. I know that I have difficulty divorcing myself from the emotional thoughts that come when I try to think through the topic. Share your thoughts if you have some.

2011-12-26T06:48:00.001-08:00

I have been thinking about something the last several hours. I have been wondering about stereotypes. I have long been opposed to "judging a book by its cover." I know that stereotypes exist, however, because of some general truisms. One question is how do you know when the stereotype is an accurate label and when it's not. The second is should we steer clear of things that might earn ourselves a negative, stereotypically driven label.
I knew a young man years ago. He was a good guy and from a well known, good family. His father had a couple of high profile positions.
When the young man reached adulthood he chose a career as a social worker. In his quest to be good at that he adopted some lifestyle choices that made him more accessible to those with whom he worked. He had lovely auburn hair that gently curled - the desire of any self respecting female. He grew his hair long much to his dad's dismay. He refrained from buying a car and adopted a meager existence. He rode a bicycle all over in the practice of social work and periodic preaching for a small church several miles away in another little bitty midwestern town. He was selfless and full of compassion. He was devoted to God.
Before riding a bicycle on the interstate was illegal, he, as he peddled al

2011-12-23T03:50:00.001-08:00

How many times have you heard somebody say after a big, unpleasant event in their lives, "Dreading it was the worst part."?
I have experienced dread many times, including before my recent surgery. Perhaps for that reason Proverbs 1:33 jumped at me this morning. It talks about a freedom from dread. There is no reason that we ever have to experience this kind of self inflicted dread. Heeding God's words of wisdom are the key to that peaceful freedom.
"But he who listens to me [wisdom] shall live securely, and shall be AT EASE FROM THE DREAD OF EVIL." Proverbs 1:33

2011-12-16T05:29:00.001-08:00

When I read Proverbs 27:18 (He who tends the fig tree will eat its fruit; and he who cares for his master will be honored), I automatically thought of it in application to a wife with her husband. That was a new perspective on that, but a helpful one, I think. So many women gripe about their husband's inadequacies while never remembering to apply God's wisdom to the situation. Tend o the husband (according to his wishes), and it will more likely produce the kind of relationship hoped for. Trying to grab hungrily for honor always backfires. Letting go of the desire for it is the only hope of having it.

2011-12-12T04:54:00.001-08:00

A lap full of blessing.

2011-12-08T16:36:00.001-08:00

Jared made a Christmas tree out of tinker toys. Then today John gave him permission to put lights in it. Pretty cool!

2011-11-08T13:50:00.001-08:00

Peas in a pod? No, no. Nuts in a tree!

2011-11-04T06:45:00.001-07:00

Jason was playing with me and didn't get off my bed so I just made it around him. :-)

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2011-11-03T05:42:00.001-07:00

Look carefully. This is Joshua! He and some friends made these costumes. Pretty clever, I thought.

2011-11-01T16:31:00.001-07:00

My little(est) girl is growing up :-)

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2011-10-31T05:29:00.001-07:00

Leviticus 27 sets the "rules" for making a special vow to God. These instructions were not for required rites but for those extra, voluntary ones. Why would God give instructions regarding something that was voluntary? It was suggested in a recent sermon that He anticipated that people may, from time to time, be wanting to express an extra measure of gratitude or love for God. Isn't that a happy thought? How wonderful it would be for God's children to acknowledge Him above and beyond the requirement.

Well, yesterday we heard a sermon on Malachi. It is a sad and depressing look at God's people roughly 1000 years after the law was given in Leviticus. God's people were far from desiring to show an extra measure of gratitude and love toward God. They were giving to God less than He required and shocked when He expressed His displeasure. He rhetorically asked, "But now will you not entreat God's favor, that He may be gracious to us? With such an offering on your part, will He receive any of you kindly? ...Oh that there were one among you who would shut the gates, that you might not uselessly kindle fire on My altar! I am not pleased with you...nor will I accept an offering from you." He also says that they found appropriate sacrifices tiresome, choosing the easier, less costly route.

I have been thinking about these things. Are we, nearly 2000 years after Christ drew up our adoption papers, like the ungrateful people of which Malachi wrote? Is my worship - my relationship with God - stale? Or is it fresh and as new as HIS mercies are EVERY morning? Do I ever find myself overflowing with love and thankfulness to God - enough to give Him "extra" like He anticipated in Leviticus?

2011-09-22T12:07:00.001-07:00

Jason will have a new set of PE tubes on the 28th. He only has one of the last set still intact. The ear without is not good even though it appears the tube has only recently come out. This will be the 4th set - I think - since May 2008. If I'm wrong it is the 5th since then.

Jason Learning How to Ride without Training Wheels

2011-09-17T13:08:00.000-07:00

Jason went from screaming in fear of his bike riding (with training wheels) to what you see in the video in a couple of weeks. I thought it would be fun to share.

2011-09-12T10:38:00.000-07:00

Jared found a stick bug today. I just love the marvels of God's creation!

2011-08-09T17:58:00.001-07:00

John and I had a gift card to P.F. Changs that we used tonight. I think, by the way, that it's my new favorite restaurant. Our fortune cookie guts are pictured. We thought their stark contrast was interesting. I think we'll toss one. What do you think? (That's rhetorical in case you were wondering.)

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2011-08-07T21:34:00.001-07:00

The first canner full of spaghetti sauce is out of the canner. Now one more. Looks like bedtime at 1:30. I a few months I will know that it was worth it. Thank God for His provision of both food and enough stamina!

2011-08-07T04:38:00.001-07:00

The kids and I (Elizabeth and her kids too) got to hear some excellent lessons yesterday on God being a warrior. I had already been thinking - reminding myself - about who the enemy is. That is important. If we become distracted soldiers and begin to see distorted images of the enemy in the form of some people(s) or circumstance then we despair. Those foes are impossible ones to defeat. We do not possess weapons that are suited to battle with them, so we grow weary and eventually are in danger of deserting.
However, when we remember that our enemy is satan there is only room for hope and vigor. He is the defeated enemy. He will NEVER be an impossible opponent. Jesus gained that victory solidly and works on as our strength against him. Don't misunderstand, satan is not a deflated enemy, rather he is an enemy of fury (Revelation 12). We cannot dismiss him, but we can have confidence in God's power which is at work in us. It is that very magnitude of power which cast satan down. If we fix our eyes and our hope on Jesus, strap on our armor, and remember that we do not fight an impossible foe, there is no reason at all we ever have to lose a battle.

2011-08-04T05:02:00.001-07:00

I just noticed something for the first time while reading through Genesis 41. (Don't you love that happens?) The wife given to Joseph was the daughter of a pagan priest. We know what happened when Ahab married a woman of a nation of idol worship. He followed her like the proverbial puppy dog. It appears, however that Joseph remained God's man - remaining aware of Him as the Director of his steps (Genesis 41:51, 52; 45:7-9) That inspires, doesn't it? No matter what our circumstances we can remain faithful to God. Thank God for Joseph's stellar example!

2011-07-31T13:21:00.001-07:00

I had a couple of partial jars of jelly. They were perfect for the ultimate is the jelly done test. Turned upside down if it stays put you know it gelled. The ultimate is the jelly good test is spreading a piece of bread with it and tasting it. The blackberry jelly passed both!

2011-07-31T13:17:00.001-07:00

Friday morning a friend called to let us know that his neighbor had about 1-2 gallons of blackberries that we could have if we went to pick them. I rarely turn down free food but accept it gratefully as God's provision, so we packed up and went. We went prepared to brave the thorns of wild blackberries (as we do at our house). We were pleasantly surprised to find tame, luscious, and trained on a wire framework berries. We picked 5 gallons! That afternoon Joseph and I cleaned them, then he and Jared deseeded them while I got ready to go to a wedding that evening. Saturday I spent several hours making and canning jelly. The yield was 21 pints! I am always awed at God's faithful provision and am thanking Him for a shelf full of jelly in the pantry.

2011-07-31T12:55:00.001-07:00

This is a test of my ability to blog from my phone. I sure hope it works! My phone is much faster than our computer!

Just Wondering...

2011-07-26T16:19:00.001-07:00

Is there anybody that checks my lonely, neglected blog anymore?

Be Seated

2011-05-08T20:02:00.000-07:00

Have you ever sat down to enjoy a symphony or a wedding at which you witnessed some truly socially awkward or rude behavior in someone else who was present? If that someone was in attendance with you, you feel irritated and very embarrassed to be associated with them. If that someone is merely a fellow, unknown occupant, you feel irritation alone. Why? Our culture has molded our thinking about what is decorous in certain situations. When those cultural norms are abandoned, we know that behavior fitting the occasion has also been abandoned. In our world these norms may or may not be rooted in right and wrong, so as an offended party you may need to just get over yourself. However, there is another, more sober event at which you may find yourself required to conform to a preset and immovable norm.

If you are a Christian, you were once, by nature, a child of wrath along with the rest of human-kind. When Christ reached out to you in the ravage of that wrath, breathing New Life into you, God "raised [you] up with Him and seated [you] in the heavenly places in Christ.*" Having been escorted to such a magnificent seat, you must be aware of the norm that dictates proper behavior in it. When you violate God's norm (in ignorance or rebellion) you become like that symphony goer who cannot keep quiet or that wedding attendee who is texting during the ceremony.

Culturally speaking, the norms can be a bit fuzzy, having a bit of a span of flexibility. The exercise of them is certainly subjective. It is not so with God's norms though. They do not ever change and can be perceived with objectivity. As a result, you must acclimate yourself to them and never, ever try to acclimate them to yourself. Arm yourself in and with The Rule Book so that you might not be found an embarrassment or an irritant when the Father says to you, "Be seated."

*Ephesians 2:6

A Picture Is Worth a Thousand Words

2011-04-10T21:35:00.000-07:00

New Toy

2011-03-20T18:21:00.000-07:00

This is our latest addition. I've been looking on and off for a free or really cheap piano. This one was just two miles from us. It had been just sitting unused. All the keys work, the sound is decent, and the "guts" look sound. I am pretty excited to have a piano again! It's been five years since we've had one in the house. I went through all the music, and have lots of beginner books. Jared has learned all the major scales. Jacob still remembers what he learned years ago. Now to find free or really cheap lessons...

Sick

2011-03-19T19:44:00.001-07:00

Recently, the children passed a virus which kept Nancy and Jason down with fever for seven days. Joshua lost 20 pounds in three days. Jason's appetite was awful, so when he wanted some applesauce he got it! You can see him sitting, wrapped in a blanket to keep the chilling to a minimum, and sporting sunglasses because the sun from the window was bugging him. Pretty cute - even while sick!

Worshiping God

2011-01-25T19:04:00.000-08:00

A friend was questioning some things about worshiping God recently. Her questions heightened some things that had already been on my mind. Since then, I've been studying the topic, off and on, in search of answers. It has been a sobering and worthwhile journey. It has become so much clearer to me, I think, than ever before, how important - vital - this topic is. I had the opportunity to teach a Bible study for women tonight on this topic. Now that I have completed that, I want to share here what I have discovered about what GOD thinks about worshiping Him. (I know I have had a tendency to skim over Scripture when quoted in an article or some such thing. I urge you not to do that, but rather to read those parts most carefully.)

Isaiah 1:10 - 17:
Hear the word of the LORD,
You rulers of Sodom;
Give ear to the instruction of our God,
You people of Gomorrah.
What are your multiplied sacrifices to Me?"
Says the LORD.
"I have had enough of burnt offerings of rams
And the fat of fed cattle;
And I take no pleasure in the blood of bulls, lambs or goats.
"When you come to appear before Me,
Who requires of you this trampling of My courts?
"Bring your worthless offerings no longer,
Incense is an abomination to Me
New moon and sabbath, the calling of assemblies--
I cannot endure iniquity and the solemn assembly.
"I hate your new moon festivals and your appointed feasts,
They have become a burden to Me;
I am weary of bearing them.
"So when you spread out your hands in prayer,
I will hide My eyes from you;
Yes, even though you multiply prayers,
I will not listen
Your hands are covered with blood.
"Wash yourselves, make yourselves clean;
Remove the evil of your deeds from My sight
Cease to do evil,
Learn to do good;
Seek justice,
Reprove the ruthless,
Defend the orphan,
Plead for the widow.

An important part of the Israelite's worship was the offering of sacrifices. God commanded it and gave much detail about what each was for and precisely how each one was to be offered. However, Isaiah's message from God was that the people were so evil that He didn't want their sacrifices anymore. Indeed, He was refusing to even hear their prayers anymore. God is a holy and perfect God Who requires that we come before Him in kind.

Numerous biblical examples of people worshiping God in ways that were displeasing to Him are recorded for us. The consequences were quite severe. Below I have recorded just a sampling.

Example One:

Genesis 4:3 -15
So it came about in the course of time that Cain brought an offering to the LORD of the fruit of the ground.

Abel, on his part also brought of the firstlings of his flock and of their fat portions And the LORD had regard for Abel and for his offering;

but for Cain and for his offering He had no regard So Cain became very angry and his countenance fell.

Then the LORD said to Cain, "Why are you angry? And why has your countenance fallen?

"If you do well, will not your countenance be lifted up? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door; and its desire is for you, but you must master it."

Cain told Abel his brother. And it came about when they were in the field, that Cain rose up against Abel his brother and killed him.

Then the LORD said to Cain, "Where is Abel your brother?" And he said, "I do not know. Am I my brother's keeper?"

He said, "What have you done? The voice of your brother's blood is crying to Me from the ground.

"Now you are cursed from the ground, which has opened its mouth to receive your brother's blood from your hand.

"When you cultivate the ground, it will no longer yield its strength to you; you will be a vagrant and a wanderer on the earth."

Cain said to the LORD, "My punishment is too great to bear!

"Behold, You have driven me this day from the face of the ground; and from Your face I will be hidden, and I will be a vagrant and a wanderer on the earth, and whoever finds me will kill me."

So the LORD said to him, "Therefore whoever kills Cain, vengeance will be taken on him sevenfold " And the LORD appointed a sign for Cain, so that no one finding him would slay him.

It was not recorded for us what specifically was wrong about Cain's offering, but it was not up to God's standard. His repulsive offering led to an horrifying story of murder and condemnation towards himself. God cursed the very ground that Cain worked and from which he'd offered his sacrifice and caused him to wander. Worst of all, was that he was to suffer the agony of a relationship with God gone sour.

Example Two:

Leviticus 10:1 - 3
Now Nadab and Abihu, the sons of Aaron, took their respective firepans, and after putting fire in them, placed incense on it and offered strange fire before the LORD, which He had not commanded them.

And fire came out from the presence of the LORD and consumed them, and they died before the LORD.

Then Moses said to Aaron, "It is what the LORD spoke, saying,
By those who come near Me I will be treated as holy,
And before all the people I will be honored.'"
So Aaron, therefore, kept silent.

These new priests offered incense with unauthorized fire to God, and God took their lives with fire of His own. Moses' commentary to Aaron, the father of these two disobedient priests, was simply a reminder that God said plainly that He would be treated as He ought and be honored among the people. It was recorded in Exodus 30:9 that strange incense was not to be offered. In the instructions for the Day of Atonement in Leviticus 16:11, 12, God gave specific instructions for the origin of the fire to be used for the sacrifice.

Both of these examples are of people who were at least relatively new to what they were doing. Indeed Nadab and Abihu were carrying out a brand new law of God. These novices were held accountable to worship God just as He desired. The holy and just God wiped them out when they did not do exactly as they were told.

Example Three:

1 Chronicles 13

Then David consulted with the captains of the thousands and the hundreds, even with every leader.

David said to all the assembly of Israel, "If it seems good to you, and if it is from the LORD our God, let us send everywhere to our kinsmen who remain in all the land of Israel, also to the priests and Levites who are with them in their cities with pasture lands, that they may meet with us;

and let us bring back the ark of our God to us, for we did not seek it in the days of Saul."

Then all the assembly said that they would do so, for the thing was right in the eyes of all the people.

So David assembled all Israel together, from the Shihor of Egypt even to the entrance of Hamath, to bring the ark of God from Kiriath-jearim.

David and all Israel went up to Baalah, that is, to Kiriath-jearim, which belongs to Judah, to bring up from there the ark of God, the LORD who is enthroned above the cherubim, where His name is called.

They carried the ark of God on a new cart from the house of Abinadab, and Uzza and Ahio drove the cart.

David and all Israel were celebrating before God with all their might, even with songs and with lyres, harps, tambourines, cymbals and with trumpets.

When they came to the threshing floor of Chidon, Uzza put out his hand to hold the ark, because the oxen nearly upset it.

The anger of the LORD burned against Uzza, so He struck him down because he put out his hand to the ark; and he died there before God.

Then David became angry because of the LORD'S outburst against Uzza; and he called that place Perez-uzza to this day.

David was afraid of God that day, saying, "How can I bring the ark of God home to me?"

The ark of the covenant was a very key part of the worship environment for the Israelites. It was to be kept in the holy of holies in the tabernacle where God dwelled. God gave detailed instructions for its construction and ornamentation as well as its location. He even provided in structure and words how and by whom it was to be carried when the Israelites moved from place to place. See Exodus 25:12 - 15 and Deuteronomy 10:8. Again, God expected strict adherence to His commands. Uzza lost his life as a result of David's disobedience in this detail that we might have considered in consequential. David was angry about the consequences that his disobedience brought. This story ended happily after David saw his way over to God's way of doing things in 1 Chronicles 15, and the ark did make it back home (1 Chron. 16:1).

Example Four:

(Background: When God's nation divided, the northern kingdom (Israel) was given to Jeroboam to rule as king. God told him: "'I will take you, and you shall reign over whatever you desire, and you shall be king over Israel. 'Then it will be, that if you listen to all that I command you and walk in My ways, and do what is right in My sight by observing My statutes and My commandments, as My servant David did, then I will be with you and build you an enduring house as I built for David, and I will give Israel to you.")

I Kings 12:25 - 13:6, 33 - 34

Then Jeroboam built Shechem in the hill country of Ephraim, and lived there And he went out from there and built Penuel.

Jeroboam said in his heart, "Now the kingdom will return to the house of David.

"If this people go up to offer sacrifices in the house of the LORD at Jerusalem, then the heart of this people will return to their lord, even to Rehoboam king of Judah; and they will kill me and return to Rehoboam king of Judah."

So the king consulted, and made two golden calves, and he said to them, "It is too much for you to go up to Jerusalem; behold your gods, O Israel, that brought you up from the land of Egypt."

He set one in Bethel, and the other he put in Dan.

Now this thing became a sin, for the people went to worship before the one as far as Dan.

And he made houses on high places, and made priests from among all the people who were not of the sons of Levi.

Jeroboam instituted a feast in the eighth month on the fifteenth day of the month, like the feast which is in Judah, and he went up to the altar; thus he did in Bethel, sacrificing to the calves which he had made And he stationed in Bethel the priests of the high places which he had made.

Then he went up to the altar which he had made in Bethel on the fifteenth day in the eighth month, even in the month which he had devised in his own heart; and he instituted a feast for the sons of Israel and went up to the altar to burn incense.

Now behold, there came a man of God from Judah to Bethel by the word of the LORD, while Jeroboam was standing by the altar to burn incense.

He cried against the altar by the word of the LORD, and said, "O altar, altar, thus says the LORD, 'Behold, a son shall be born to the house of David, Josiah by name; and on you he shall sacrifice the priests of the high places who burn incense on you, and human bones shall be burned on you.'"

Then he gave a sign the same day, saying, "This is the sign which the LORD has spoken, 'Behold, the altar shall be split apart and the ashes which are on it shall be poured out.'"

Now when the king heard the saying of the man of God, which he cried against the altar in Bethel, Jeroboam stretched out his hand from the altar, saying, "Seize him." But his hand which he stretched out against him dried up, so that he could not draw it back to himself.

The altar also was split apart and the ashes were poured out from the altar, according to the sign which the man of God had given by the word of the LORD.

The king said to the man of God, "Please entreat the LORD your God, and pray for me, that my hand may be restored to me " So the man of God entreated the LORD, and the king's hand was restored to him, and it became as it was before.

After this event Jeroboam did not return from his evil way, but again he made priests of the high places from among all the people; any who would, he ordained, to be priests of the high places.

This event became sin to the house of Jeroboam, even to blot it out and destroy it from off the face of the earth.

Wow! Jeroboam was one disobedient king! In fact, he became the measure for wickedness in the kings of Israel. He took his new kingdom (which God gave him) and violated four of God's laws:

1. He made graven images for worship. (Exodus 20:4, 5)

2. He chose his own places for worship. (Deuteronomy 16:5, 6)

3. He appointed priests who were not Levites. (Numbers 18:1 - 7)

4. He instituted a different feast day. (Leviticus 23)

God had promised him a dynasty if he'd obey God's commands, but he would not, and so his family only saw one more king on the throne. He, Nadab, only reigned for two years.

These examples should have sobered us. God has always wanted to be worshiped. He was and is worthy of our worship. Just as He asked not for any input from man regarding the construction of the ark in Noah's time, or the plans for the tabernacle, its furnishings and the priests attire and duties regarding sacrifices, so He has not consulted us to discover our ideas for worshiping Him. Nor will He yet.

When the incarnate Jesus walked the earth, He rebuked the Pharisees for "neglecting the commandment of God," and instead they "[held] to the tradition of men." (Mark 7:8) Their view of being right before God had become so distorted that when God, Himself, was manifest before them in the Son, they could not recognize Him as the Son of God. What about me? You? Have we so infused our own ideas about what is quality worship that we have neglected the commandment of God?

The examples given above were of real people in real time who pridefully set aside God's way to adopt their own. All of them suffered greatly for their wrongful worship. To God, worshiping Him is serious and real business. Again, He has not ever cared much what man thinks would be a great tribute to Him. Instead, He, the Creator, has always had supreme authority and will hold us as accountable for the kind of worship He wants in our lives as He did those of long ago. The very next thing to do then, is to search as if our lives depended on it (because they do) for the truth about what God wants and get busy transforming our practices and our associations into those which will bless and glorify the Almighty God.

O the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and the knowledge of God! how unsearchable are his judgments, and his ways past tracing out! For who hath known the mind of the Lord? or who hath been his counsellor?or who hath first given to him, and it shall be recompensed unto him again? For of him, and through him, and unto him, are all things. To him be the glory for ever. Amen. I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service. And be not fashioned according to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, and ye may prove what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God.

Romans 11:33 - 12:2

This sermon was very helpful to me in considering this topic. For what it's worth, I recommend listening to it.

Blogging in Reverse

2011-01-23T17:19:00.000-08:00

I sat down at the computer a bit ago and decided I'd catch up reading blogs. I only have a handful that I watch, but I find that I'm not keeping up with it like I did in AZ. My time is often so full. We are studying anatomy this year for school. My method is new for me. (I am enjoying it a lot.) I have Stacey's college anatomy text book which I study and take notes from before teaching the kiddos. It is a subject that I love, but it is very time consuming. I am also studying the Bible with the kids in a more involved way than I have for a number of years. Again, it's been good, but takes time to prepare (not to mention implement.) I am often studying at night after the kids go to bed, then again early in the morning before they are up.

Those things, in addition to the other duties in my house and home, leave less time for computerized socialization. I miss it. I keep thinking that I'll get caught up and then stay caught up, but that is not realistic during the school year. I am determined to keep my priorities straight and be not just home, but at home. I'm sure that I will find myself wandering back to the blogs now and again, but to peruse them each night like I used to isn't possible right now. I find it kind of a melancholy thought, but summer will come, and then I can use my nights differently. That is until we start in with chemistry next year...

P.S.S.

2011-01-05T20:26:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time there WAS a ridiculous hat with a star on top. Dan WAS bedecked with it, and it WAS captured by the camera afterall.

Christmas 2010: A Collage

2011-01-05T20:07:00.000-08:00

I thought it'd be fun to show everyone as they emerged from their collective sleeping quarters Christmas morning. I realize a couple are repeats, but oh well. Notice Nancy's impressive slack jaw and that Joshua came out fashion show runway style.

P.S.

2011-01-05T19:47:00.000-08:00

Dear Boring One,

I thought the same as you. Sadly, all pictures of Dan were too far away to tell he even had a had, or the top of his head was cut off. Maybe we can get *him* to pose and pretend - just for the blog, you know?

Mom to Anyone

Christmas 2010

2011-01-05T19:44:00.000-08:00

For Science this school year we are studying anatomy. I got college level anatomy coloring books for Joshua and Jacob. Elizabeth saw one a few months ago and said she thought it'd be fun to have one - and that she'd really do it. Immediately I filed that away as a great Christmas gift. Just so you know, she has been coloring it too.

John and I went to John's Christmas party for work. It's a coat and tie affair, thus the formal attire (that we rarely wear). Because it's such a rare event to "dress up," I really wanted a picture. John cheerfully obliged. (No, really. He really did so cheerfully.) This is even take #2. Most have likely seen this on facebook, but I thought I'd put it here for those who may not have. (Mom, I really did make prints, and now you're waiting for me to send one to you. Please don't hold your breath, or you'll be a cold corpse before I remember to do that!)

Here's another picture of Haelley and Brennan, just so you don't forget how adorable they are =)

Christmas 2010

2011-01-05T19:20:00.000-08:00

This was the tree after Santa came and before it had yet been discovered. I still love the twinkly warmth of the lighted Christmas tree.

Part of the routine on Christmas morning is for the kids to come one at a time (youngest to oldest) to spy with wonder the tree and the transformation that took place while sugar plums danced in their heads. Jason, still being a rookie, didn't understand what he was supposed to do, and, without an older one ahead of him to show the way, he just did what he thought might be expected. Because I was standing at a distance with the camera, he thought I wanted a posed picture of him. Twice he stopped, without looking at the tree and its bounty, to smile for the camera. It was pretty cute.

Michael, Elizabeth, Haelley, and Brennan came late in the morning. In case I haven't said so - and for the record - grandchildren are pretty amazing creatures! Haelley loves pretty dresses and wears one even if she has a multitude of goose bumps and purple lips. I found (without looking) a magnificent dress at Goodwill. I imagine that it had been a flower girl's dress once. For Haelley, it is a glorious wedding dress.

Brennan was such a boy - and a wonderful one at that! I found this 90's era Tonka dump truck (which is back when they were stoutly made of metal), and Stacey bought him some tractors. That was plenty for him. He loaded up and was on his way to go play. It was such a bummer for him that there were more gifts to open.

Christmas 2010

2011-01-05T14:57:00.000-08:00

My parents send money to our children for Christmas. Every year my mom comes up with a clever way to present it. This year each child's money was in a pair of gloves. You can see Nancy holding hers with much delight. I had a hard time picking a picture of Nancy for the blog because my little drama queen had great expressions in all the pictures. Her you have her big, grateful, pleased smile.

I had a hard time picking which picture of Josiah to post also. Each one had some story to tell. This picture is adequate for two of them. It is hard to find all natural candy where we live. What I can find is very expensive and almost an hour's drive away. Much to my delight (and Josiah's) I discovered that Necco is now making their Necco's and Clark bars all with all natural ingredients. Even better, a friend discovered them at a pharmacy only seven minutes from our house! If you look by his folded legs, you can see Clark bars that were in his stocking. You can also see the Bible he got. He is fanatical about Bible study and Bible notes, commentaries, outlines, etc. He had asked for an NASB, and what mother could refuse that?

I wanted to choose pictures somewhat uniquely to give different vantage points of our Christmas day, but this picture of Jared with the gloves and money from his grandparents was precious. Thanks to their generous grandparents, I took the four youngest shopping on Monday. We had a great time. They were all well behaved which made for a fun day.

Once again, you see a pair of gloves with the mysteriously hidden money. This time Joseph is the happy recipient. Funny thing about Joseph is that he made a list of things he wanted (at my request), then wanted to go buy some of them with his birthday money! We had to hold him off because Santa wanted a turn at that list first.

Here's a happy Jacob. He's not just happy about receiving his gift of the jacket. He's also happy because his wait for it ended Christmas morning. He was with me when I was looking for a jacket for his Christmas present. He ended up picking the one he liked most after I made him promise to act surprised on Christmas morning.

Christmas 2010

2011-01-05T12:51:00.000-08:00

This picture was one of those "catches" that left me feeling victorious. Joshua was feigning this frown over his gift. It had caused the room to erupt with laughter, and I managed to capture the expression.

James and Andi spent the night with us and got up in the morning for the Christmas morning fun. Here you see James looking at a gift from Stacey. I believe they were gift cards. We bought them a copy of "Fireproof." It is a wonderful movie, well capturing the essence of marriage that God intended.

Andi, our newcomer this year, was a bit overwhelmed, I think. You see her here with a Groupon for a quaint, white table cloth restaurant in Cordyon, IN. If you haven't heard of Groupon, it's a fun way to get good deals on things for yourself or for gifts. Google it.

We had a special visitor for Christmas this year. Our congregation has a sort of intern right now. He was to travel to Alabama where is family was going to be for Christmas, but his car wasn't running well enough for him to go. He spent Friday night and Saturday with us. He is one of those people who brightens up a room by various means. This picture captures the goofy, ham-it-up Dan. For some reason, I enjoy feeding him. I made his a generous French silk pie, which he would certainly sing for if I asked.

John, for as long as I've known him (and many years before) has used his grandfather's feather pillow. His grandfather died in 1975, and the pillow was used then. He has been protective of this pillow, not allowing me to re-tick it or wash it. Needless to say, we have ribbed him from time to time about his "yucky" pillow. A while back he actually said that maybe he should get a new pillow. I ran with that and found a terrific deal on Black Friday for a feather pillow. He is officially using the new pillow while the other is enjoying retirement.

2010-12-25T15:52:00.000-08:00

Christmas 2010

2010-12-25T15:10:00.000-08:00

I really like to blog. I do. It sure does seem like there is usually something else to do, though. I really wanted to share a photographic description of our fun day. I really like my family, you know? =)

Michael plans to graduate in the Spring with his business accounting degree. That will launch him into the professional arena. Stacey, John and I got him this dress coat for use with his suit. He likely has an internship in the bag, Lord willing. He has a second interview to make sure he and the current employees go well together.

You can see me opening a large gift. Stacey, Michael, and Elizabeth got me a new grain mill!!! That is soooo exciting to me! I have really missed the other that broke 3 1/2 years ago.

Elizabeth discovered recently that the only sheet JW had for his bed was torn from top to bottom and that he didn't have any blankets. We decided to fix that problem and got him sheets and a comforter. He was pretty happy (but asked for a complimentary bed making =)

Stacey quickly opened this gift from Michael and Elizabeth, so I missed it. She obliged and posed for me =)

Michael and Elizabeth bought both the 2011 Guinness Book of World Records (pre-edited for us) and the newest Ripley's Believe It or Not (also edited) for all the kiddos who still live at home. They were pretty excited. They are fun books to browse - again and again.

Matt

2010-10-09T19:44:00.000-07:00

I know that the last post was quite melancholy. October 4th was a difficult, difficult day.

I might say, in answer to mom's question about Matt, that he is my other son (MOS, pronounced moss). Matt captured my heart years ago. His journey through almost eighteen years has been a hard one. He is adopted. His biological parental situation was bad. If I recall the facts correctly, he, at three years, was still solely eating from a bottle, couldn't walk well because his only exposure had been around the small inside perimeter of a playpen. He was a fetal alcohol syndrome baby.

He has been a difficult child to raise. I know this. I do. Somehow, though, I have always just seen potential in him. There was a time that I wondered if he also suffered from detachment disorder, but no, not all. I want to be sensitive and delicate with the following statements; I am a mother myself. His difficult ways have been a challenge almost repulsive to his mother. I do so wish that she'd been more tenacious and unconditional in her love, more consistent in discipline. His father has stood firmly in Matt's corner when it seemed hope was gone.

Matt spent time away from his family twice that I recall. The first time was in occurrence when we first met his family, so I cannot say much about that. The second time was a time in juvenile detention. I think it's debatable whether or not he really needed to be there, but while he was he was mistreated. He even suffered a broken bone at the impatient hands of a guard. (Matt would tell you that he provoked the man - greatly even, but the mistreatment was still that.) During that time Matt was out of control, and hope was shrouded in the darkness of doubt. It was so tempting to give up hope.

God heard so many, many prayers on behalf of Matt and has been merciful indeed. After the broken arm incident, his dad pushed and pushed to have Matt transferred elsewhere. I do not know why, but eventually that did happen. The new facility was much better, and Matt did begin to respond, learning well how to control his anger and be responsible.

He went back home a couple of years ago. All were on pins and needles wondering how he'd do with the "real world." He has amazed us by doing very well. No, it has not been an unflawed road. It has not, but he is still performing well academically and socially in school. He has shown humility spiritually, seeing his deviance and mourning over it. He has purposed improvement in his life.

You might imagine that Matt is a tough cookie. You'd be right in that. All along, though, I could see a boy who could love and be loved. When you've been stomped on again and again, you develop a thick and hard protective outer layer.

Matt and I had a good conversation this summer. I'd heard something unsettling through the grapevine about him that I wanted to verify. It was true. It wasn't sinful. I thought, however, it was a disastrous decision in the making and told him so. I needed to explain, because of that tough outer layer, that my concern was because I loved him and because I had such hope for his future. I also wanted him to know that he was my other son for keeps. I made him watch "The Blind Side" so he could see the relationship between the mom and Michael Oher. At one point in that movie, the mom, Leigh Anne, and Michael are in a bad part of town, making her a bit nervous. Michael assures her that he "has her back." That's how I feel about Matt. I know that he would always have my back and that if anyone messed with me he would "take them out." He assured me of that and added that he would likely not be self controlled in that situation. While *that* isn't good, it demonstrated his loyalty, which I never doubted.

Back to October 4th. Matt knew that I was having a hard day. He was so kind, so sweet, so comforting. He hugged me spontaneously and would just put his arm around me and stand there with me. He said little, but I was aware that he "had my back" that day.

That is who Matt is. My Other Son.

October 4

2010-10-04T20:32:00.000-07:00

Some days are just memorable. Today is such a day.

Today was a Nothing Extra Is Going On Day. Do those really occur? We got about an hour and fifteen minutes of school in before I had to leave and take Jacob to the doctor. I thought we'd be back in a couple of hours. Nope. Don't mistake that "nope" for a complaint. I was actually grateful to be passed on to an orthopedic surgeon in the same day. Really it was more efficient that way. Really. It would have been nice to have the broken arm diagnosis Friday night when we left the emergency room, but we didn't. It's all good, right? Right.

Today was also I Cut Matt's Hair Day. That, too, is memorable because Matt rarely gets a haircut. I actually would post a picture, but my when I got my camera out to do so, the battery was dead.

Today was also Take My Heart Out And Put It On The Limb Day. I am not going to expound much on that. Just suffice it to say that sometimes - not very many sometimes though - I wonder why I so quickly and easily love people. There has been such joy in that, but such sorrow too. Sometimes it's hanging somewhere in the middle and I'm nervously wondering which side of the balance will receive the final tipping weight. The verdict is out, but it is too late to withdraw the heart. Once it's out there, it's out there.

October 4, 2010.

God's Blessings

2010-08-24T00:25:00.001-07:00

A trunk load full of more frozen fruit arrived at our house tonight. Our freezer was full from the last round, so I removed anything at all that didn't *need* to be frozen, rearranged, and here you see the very full result. I froze probably 6 - 8 gallon bags of small diced peaches, 3 - 4 times that of diced apricots. I also am finishing up canning 10 quarts of blueberry syrup. I was a very good girl and got up at 6:30 this morning. It's now 3:36 AM, and I am *tired!* I have a busy day ahead of me too. Sleep's overrated, right?

I *am* so grateful for the abundance of fresh fruit and vegetables that God has blessed us with. He has done far beyond what I ever thought or imagined when I asked to Him to bless our garden. In addition to the produce of our garden, we have received likely 200 pounds or more of frozen fruit. Wow. Staggering. I am sure thanking Him tonight for such abundance and for our freezer which is very old, very large and, for today, still working.

Catching Up in Photos

2010-08-23T23:13:00.000-07:00

It's 2:12 AM, and I'm waiting for blueberry syrup to boil for eight minutes so it can go in the canner. It's been a while (again) since I posted, so I thought I'd post pictures of things around here recently.

God's Provision

2010-08-02T19:49:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I brought home 80 pounds of frozen blueberries, almost 10 gallons of frozen peach puree, and about 5 gallons of frozen, cubed pears - for only the price of the gas it took to pick it up. It seems that a storage facility (in Marengo Cave) had a damaged pallet(s) of fruit. Some friends received half of a pick-up load of this product. They began to make offers to others, including us. I'm so excited and very, very grateful. One of the things we've had to cut back on over the last year is fruit. From this blessing and others in past months, I have so much fruit in my freezer now that it seems an endless bounty.

The picture is of a pot of spaghetti sauce that I made today with tomatoes from our garden and ground beef that a friend shared. It also has zucchini from our garden and fresh garlic from a friend's house. I imagine it will fill at least 10 quart jars. Next to the spaghetti sauce you can see a pressure canner that has 7 quarts of green beans from our garden. A friend and I canned my favorite relish several weeks ago, yielding 9 pints. This was made with cucumbers and green tomatoes from our garden, as well as other ingredients that I got at bargain prices.

I already have several containers of cubed zucchini in the freezer and 1 1/2 gallon bags of green beans, both from the garden.

It is such a wonderful thing to watch the abundance which flows from the hand of our God! I am humbled and grateful for it all.

Four Turned Three

2010-07-17T23:06:00.000-07:00

These four children were born within seven weeks of each other in 2007. We had a little party for them Friday night. Between us, I think we have pictures from a couple of stages of pregnancy to these 3 year photos. From left to right they are Haelley (July 25), Silas (July 10), Libby (June 7), and Jason (June 10). Interesting trivia: Haelley is related to Silas and Jason.

Miscellaneous

2010-07-17T22:39:00.000-07:00

We have two very healthy pumpkin plants coming up from compost. Between them there are five or six pumpkins. We had chosen a spot for the garden, composted there for a while, then decided to put a volleyball court there instead. The area was leveled, moving the higher middle off to the sides. The pumpkin survived all that and are coming up along the fence around the court.

We had a great opportunity to go the Conner Prairie Living History Museum recently. They had a community day on which admission was FREE. We went with some friends and Michael, Elizabeth and family. It was a memorable day.

A Thought Provoking Conversation

2010-07-15T21:21:00.000-07:00

I had a phone conversation tonight that has left me thinking. The other person shared a thought that surely a third dimension to ourselves exists that, perhaps, we don't think about. I think it's true that we often think of ourselves as having a physical body as well as a mind to go along with it. We're missing something, though. During the conversation, the familiar phrase, "mind over matter" was said to be true but not complete. If it is true that we can control what our bodies do by an act of our mental will, then shouldn't it follow that we can control our mind by some other dimension of our make up? Perhaps, it was said, we might think of this as our conscience. Whatever we might call it, isn't it important to acknowledge it? It surely isn't any less important to control what our minds do than to control what our bodies do. When I think about it, I have observed in myself and others, the omission of this third dimension. This really does create quite a problem because if my mind can control my body (which will manifest outwardly and potentially touch other people) then there must be a a control panel for the mind. The mind, alone, is utterly incapable of sticking with the truth about what the body tells it it wants. There must be that third dimension that is guided by an objective Standard, that moors us to the truth about what our bodies should do. Further, isn't that often missed component where we find such noble things as courage and selflessness. We all laud these things, but do we exercise control over our will that we might choose to be defrauded, or to allow emotional or physical hurt for the good of another, or the noblest of all, to lay down our life that another might live - even our enemy? Most important of all, don't you think that is precisely what caused Jesus to have victory over every temptation (the same ones we face) and thus be qualified to become our Sacrifice?

Maybe we don't use that control over our minds because we fear what might be the consequence. We lack the long term thinking that is required to bring the mind to integrity so that it can rightly and bravely direct "matter" rather than try at all cost to preserve self. Jesus possessed that ability to look ahead, beyond the now, beyond the fear, beyond the suffering, to the greater and nobler good. He trusted the Father. Do I? Do I believe that God really parted the sea, rained food from the skies, and annihilated 180,000 enemy soldiers overnight with one angel? If so, then I must be trained by that knowledge to act decisively as I conquer not only "matter" but "mind" as well.

"...let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." Hebrews 12:1b - 3

"Oh Lord, who may abide in Your tent? Who may dwell on Your holy hill? (Don't you want to know who? Don't I? God is generous and gives the description of the man who can live with Him): "He who walks with integrity, and works righteousness, and speaks truth in his heart. He does not slander with his tongue, nor does evil to his neighbor, nor takes up a reproach against his friend; in whose eyes a reprobate is despised, but who honors those who fear the Lord; he swears to his own hurt and does not change; he does not put out his money at interest, nor does he take a bribe against the innocent. He who does these things will never be shaken." Psalm 15

The BIG Truck

2010-07-15T21:19:00.000-07:00

John, on a really busy work day, offered to make two deliveries on his way home from work, one of which was not far from home. The very large truck was a big attraction to the kids. The picture of Brennan was snapped as he started making "car noises." John sent the picture of Brennan to his boss and told him they had a new driver. Maybe John won't have to make any more deliveries now. Thanks, Brennan.

Becoming Like Jesus

2010-07-05T20:11:00.000-07:00

I really do wish I could blog multiple times a day, much like I text, and much like a famous female author from long ago. She (I believe Bess Streeter Aldrich, but I get mixed up and think maybe it's really Gene Stratton Porter) is reported to have been a busy mom. It is further said that she carried a pad of paper and pencil in her apron pocket so she could jot things down as she thought about them. Her literary endeavors must teem with such scratchings. It would be nice to blog like that. Just snippets as I think of them. It might be a funny thing a child said or did. Or it might be some profound thought I had. Most of them slip away, completely unremembered.

In recent weeks, many people we know have given birth. In the last forty-eight hours, I know of two deaths, both occurring on July 4th. Babies slip into the world to drug addicts and to mothers of sterling character. People, young and old, slip out of the world mostly unnoticed but by a few. On one hand, there's nothing remarkable about either event. On the other, both occasions are Most Significant.

The human masses sometimes seem no more significant than a herd of cattle. Then suddenly an individual face from the mass is before you. Their look of fear or elation, of boredom or intensity find a way into your consciousness. Ah, now there's a conundrum. Once the whole of humanity presents itself in just one person, we find ourselves needing to decide how that one fits into our dimension and pondering what obligations might exist. It is one thing to see an aerial view of a congested interstate and quite another to see one face of terror in one car as it spins into a grave peril.

The incarnate Jesus can heal a woman he'd not seen or heard. He simply "feels" her presence as He healed her by default to His deity. It is His nature to help humble and ailing men in trouble. In Him is no need for decision making. His nature is righteous, His orientation focused singularly on the Father. As a result, in any circumstance, He will act with perfect poise and with precise and perfectly timed execution.

We must put upon Him our weakness and beg for Him to transform us into His likeness. We must not let the one who crosses our path go away untouched by His goodness working in us. It surely must become second nature to perceive a need and possess the wisdom to act with the same precision and concern we see in The Master.

My thoughts and funny stories slip away often, but what of the people I know or see? Do they go the way of my small daily thoughts and observations? Are my senses trained to perceive the hurting or struggling person within my circle of existence? I need to know that behind the tiny newborn eyes lies a soul. I need to be moved to practical compassion for the grieved, for the lost, and for any troubled one at all whom God would allow to pop up from the masses in front of me.

Immediately Jesus, perceiving in Himself that the power proceeding from Him had gone forth, turned around in the crowd and said , "Who touched My garments?" Mark 5:30

Pictures

2010-06-10T19:35:00.000-07:00

A few random pictures taken over the last several weeks...

A Test

2010-06-09T20:48:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I posted any pictures because I ran out of google storage space =( I was pretty sure I had it all taken care of, but wanted to make sure before exercising futility. This picture was taken before a fund raising banquet that Joshua and Jacob attended. If you manage to see it, I just might post more pics of the last several weeks.

The Latest

2010-06-09T18:39:00.000-07:00

Some of you know that I've been having some irritating physical symptoms lately. Most notably are a persistent sore throat, classic thyroid disorder symptoms, the most irritating of which is a feeling of constriction in my neck.

My thyroid levels were checked in April, resulting in a small tweak of my medicine. They were retested in May, revealing a satisfactory improvement. However, my symptoms have persisted, and, as I mentioned, been joined by a sore throat. A nurse practitioner told me last week, when I went for a third strep swab, that she detected multiple and large nodules on my thyroid. She suggested following through on that. After some unexpectedly lengthy process I had an appointment with a doctor today.

He doesn't think my thyroid is the problem, but rather digestive (stomach/esophagus). What the nurse thought was a large nodule was just my carotid artery. However, there is a small nodule on one side. The problem could be caused by my hiatal hernia. To me, that makes some sense. My feeling of constriction continues as a feeling of pressure down behind my sternum. However, other of my symptoms wouldn't be due to that, ie: sluggish brain function and significant hair loss.

For now, the plan is to have endoscopy and some more thorough examination of my thyroid. My appointment with the doctor who will do the scope isn't until July 19, which will be preliminary to the actual procedure. Because we will be gone shortly following that for a while, it is conceivable that the scope will not happen until August. Initially the doctor was going to order a thyroid scan, but it requires being off all thyroid medicine for a whole month. I should hear Friday what his next recommendation is.

In the meantime, I am, frankly, frustrated with myself. I do not have a good attitude about all this. When I've had these symptoms before (including the constriction), it has always been easily remedied with some small dosage change of my thyroid medicine. I am not happy to be feeling this sensation with no end in sight, lacking even knowledge of the reason for it.

In general, I am disappointed to find my attitude about the deterioration of the physical body one of frustration. I want to be one of those older people who can be suffering great things, but be smiling and unselfishly loving the world around them anyway. John's grandma was like that. I have often said that I want to be like her when I grow up. In that, she was definitely a mentor. However, I am proving to be a poor student.

Of course, what follows is that my character needs work. That's ok. It is. It's always good and right and noble to improve the quality of one's character - to aspire to be holy as He is holy. (1 Peter 1:15 - 16) It's disappointing to see a flaw where you thought there was strength. It feels a bit like the old idiom "it's back to the drawing board."

I am glad that God allows us to suffer hardship so that it might discipline us and yield the "peaceful fruit of righteousness." (Hebrews 12:11) I have often thanked Him in the middle of some difficulty for what He is doing and for being the God who is sovereign and holy, always seeking my best interest. I now set myself on the path to sincerely doing so again.

Go Nancy!

2010-05-11T19:41:00.000-07:00

Nancy, in her male dominated home, often gets told that she can't do something. Climbing this rope, that is attached to a swing (not stationary) and about twelve feet long, was one of them. She's been giving it sporadic attention, and today she did it! In fact, she held on long enough for me to go see her then run to get my phone for taking the picture.

Please don't tell him I told you, but Josiah has been trying too. He went out directly after Nancy's accomplishment and couldn't climb it. I quickly told his brothers and sister not to say a thing about it to him or I'd rub their noses in all the things they can't do that he can.

For all of Nancy's frill and drama, she does have a bit of a tomboy streak in her. I like that.

Frugal Living 2

2010-05-05T22:56:00.000-07:00

The second rule, I think, of being frugal is to work harder. Generally, convenience costs. Saving money - living on less - means working harder. For me, this is usually an easy choice, but sometimes a decision has to be made between time and money. Some say "time is money." While that may be true for one whose work yields a paycheck, it is not so for me. However, time is sometimes the setting of right priorities. Already, the work of frugality excludes from my routine things of real value, like more story reading and game playing.

These are things that I work at in lieu of convenience:

Dry beans instead of canned
Homemade breakfast instead of cereal
Gardening instead of store bought (a work in progress)
Hand washing larger dishes to put more in each load of the dishwasher
Removing stains from clothes rather than replacing
Sometimes creating my own curriculum instead of buying
Cutting hair myself
Washing cars the old fashioned way - at home with a hose
(Right now) pulling, hoeing, whacking, or ignoring grass the mower won't get instead of a motorized trimmer
We actually trimmed many large limbs from trees with an ax or hatchet instead of a chainsaw
Turning the garden with a spade instead of a tiller (in part anyway)
Making most Christmas gifts using mostly what I already had on hand
Making a special meal for a birthday rather than going out
Making pizza (with more crust and less toppings and cheese) instead of store or restaurant purchase

These are conveniences that I indulge in to save some much needed time:

Cheap paper plates for dry meals (I found it interesting reading the Dugger's book recently that they always use disposable plates unless it's a very special occasion. When the styrofoam comes out their kids remark about the use of china =)
Automatic dishwasher (filled to capacity)
Driving 2 1/2 miles to the store instead of walking
Thrift store clothes or dramatically reduced clearance prices instead of yard sales weekend after weekend. (It would take a lot of yard sales to come up with all the clothing we need!)
Recently - and this is a real money ouch! - buying tall sizes for Joshua on sale instead of sewing or altering
Internet for faster research and easier correspondence (Recently, I decided that if we are going to pay for Internet, we will correspond with it as much as possible, largely leaving handwritten thank you notes, personal and business letters behind.)
Store bought bread for sandwiches. (I do make bread for snacks or breakfast toast)

These lists, I'm sure, are only partial. Probably as soon as I sign out, I'll think of more. I might underline something from my previous post on this topic. Sometimes being frugal means settling for less than you know is best. That is perhaps the hardest part of contentment for me. We have cut way, way back on the amount of fruit and vegetables we eat. There is simply not room in the budget unless it is an outstanding deal. I have purposed to try and eat, as much as possible, foods that are good for us, like beans instead of junk. (Sadly, the junk is often cheaper than the healthy.) If I could spend many, many hours in my kitchen, I would eliminate even more unhealthy things - like refined peanut butter, jelly, and store bought bread. Again, it comes down to priorities. I have had to remind myself that the Bible is plain about what is most important - the physical body or the soul. If store bought, squishy bread allows me to tell my kiddos a Bible story every day and help them learn the books of the Bible, the judges, kings and other Bible things, so be it. I'll trust God for the rest.

Frugal Living

2010-05-03T21:11:00.000-07:00

For nearly nine months now, being frugal has been a necessary part of life, and so, it envelopes a large portion of my daily thoughts. It's my goal to share what is making being frugal a fun and intriguing challenge instead of a drudgery.

The first rule of frugality, and the only one which will sustain it for a lifetime, is contentment. Being satisfied with the way things are lends a huge helping hand to the quest for living on less. Contentment sounds simple, but it can be very tricky at times. Americans, especially, have a very high standard of living. (Our gross national product distribution in 2005 was first in the world, being more than two and a half times that of the second place nation, Japan.) Most of us cannot even begin to list those things which are truly unnecessary for day to day living because we've become so accustomed to relative wealth. Sadly, it is true that abundance is a fertile breeding ground for discontentment. The more we have, the more we want and feel that we need.

Gratitude is, I think, the driving force behind contentment. When we live a life of habitual gratitude, we more easily find satisfaction. When, with gratitude, we bring our supplications before God, we acknowledge that what He provides is enough. Sometimes gratitude is a game of Pollyanna. We must look for the good intertwined with the ugly and the difficult. The ugly and the difficult become those things which point us toward God, to see that He is wise and generous to us always, no matter our levels of prosperity or ease. Gratitude is naturally happy and cheerful, which are emotions that breed contentment.

Everyone must identify his own categories of weakness regarding discontentment. Below, I'm listing some things I've had to conquer, or am still working to conquer. When you really begin to analyze your thinking honestly, it is amazing what you discover you can live without.

Broken Things
If the windshield on the car is cracked but not creating a barrier to visibility, it can go unfixed.
If the storm door flies off in a storm, damaging the frame too, it can be removed rather than replaced.
If the refrigerator handle breaks off, the door can be opened by pulling the lip between the edge of the door and the seal.
If the comb snaps in two, you can comb your hair with half of the comb.
If the leg of the couch breaks, the rest can be removed too, or a block of wood can be put in the place where the leg used to be.
If the couch upholstery is torn, it can be repaired with yarn, fishing line, heavy duty thread, etc.
If the couch upholstery is so torn that is cannot be sewn closed, it can used anyway - even when company comes.
If the blow dryer breaks, hair can air dry.

Food
I've been told that those who investigate child neglect check refrigerators and pantries for abundance. Having a four month store of dry beans and rice in the laundry room will satisfy any hungry tummy. The pantry and fridge may be nearly empty, but that doesn't mean that starvation is imminent.
Relatively speaking, three meals every day is abundant. Snacks are a luxury. (In Brazil - and maybe many other nations in the top 20 of the Gross National Product distribution - they generally eat two meals in a day. Both meals will consist of beans and rice. A "wealthier" family may be able to add small bits of meat or vegetables to their beans.)
Look around at your fellow countrymen. Obesity is prevalent. More than 30% of Americans are obese (which is a body mass index of at least 30). The top 28 most obese nations in the world (of which we are first) have an average obesity just under 15%. Americans could get by with far less food methinks.

Entertainment
Eating out is not necessary - ever.
Having a TV and/or watching movies is not necessary - ever.
Seeing a movie in the theater is not necessary - ever.
Attending shows or sporting events is not necessary - ever.
Going to museums, the zoo and elaborate botanical gardens is not necessary - ever.
Again, the subject is contentment. I would not suggest that any of the above are bad things to do, but they are not necessary. We can be entertained satisfactorily with a set of dice, or with the telling of jokes, or the making of shadows upon the wall, or reading a book from the library, or taking a nature walk, or lying on the grass staring at the clouds until they seem to be anything you can imagine, or telling stories - true or made up, or throwing a ball back and forth, or running races. On and on the list can go.

Clothes
While the standard of dress in our country has actually descended, it still far exceeds what is necessary. We have closets full of clothes - some that we rarely or never wear. At our house, hand-me-downs come in the door by the bag full. We receive far more than we can use. We think we must have just the right thing for the right occasion, but that, too, is unnecessary. At a wedding we attended a few days ago, I noticed a woman wearing a pair of fuchsia colored shoes which matched her dress. I wondered at the extravagance we're accustomed to. It is humbling to appear in public dressed less than culturally expected, but it is not a matter of character. It is pride that taunts us to turn that embarrassment into the discontentment that screams at us to label needs and wants wrongly.

We recently studied Amos 6. I close with the first eight verses. (I realize that we see righteous people in the Bible who were wealthy, but I also know that Jesus warned that the rich - and relatively speaking, the vast majority of Americans are - have a very difficult time finding their way to the humility of salvation.)

How terrible it will be for you who have it easy in Jerusalem. How terrible for you who live on Mount Samaria and feel safe. You think you are important people of the best nation in the world. The Israelites come to you for help. Go look at the city of Calneh. From there go to the great city Hamath. Go down to Gath of the Philistines. Are you better than these kingdoms? Are their lands larger than yours? You put off the day of punishment. But you bring near the day when you can do evil to others. You lie on beds decorated with ivory. You stretch out on your couches. You eat tender lambs and fattened calves. You play your harps. Like David, you compose songs on musical instruments. You drink wine by the bowlful. You use the best perfumed lotions. But you are not sad over the ruin of Israel, Joseph's descendants. So you will be some of the first ones take as slaves. Your feasting and lying around will come to an end. The Lord God made this promise. The Lord God of heaven's armies says: "I hate the pride of the people of Israel. I hate their strong towers. So I will let the enemy take the city and everything in it.
~International Children's Bible

Pride Goes Before a Fall

2010-04-04T19:22:00.000-07:00

I loved this 5 1/2 years ago. Rediscovering it today confirmed that love relationship. Enjoy. Laugh. Have a great week remembering to have perspective about your true place in the scheme of things. Hahahahaha!

Take Up Your Cross

2010-04-03T20:36:00.000-07:00

Friday morning as I turned out on the highway from our street, I saw flashing lights and backed up traffic ahead. As I got nearer, I was able to see that traffic was moving, just slowly. Then a little while later (enough to make me late for an appointment) I could see that the sheriff was escorting a Good Friday procession. Making even more headway, I could see that the man carrying the cross had big padding between his shoulder and the cross. As I passed the procession which had moved to the shoulder, I laughed to see that there was a wheel attached to the bottom of the vertical piece. I laughed because this "reenactment" was so far from the reality of Jesus' fight to Golgotha.

Laughter turned to serious thought a moment later as I thought about how this applied to me. Have I picked up my cross each day only after shielding myself from its pain? Have I watered down the will of God for my life as I carry my daily cross?

It wasn't funny anymore.

Stress

2010-03-24T21:29:00.000-07:00

I heard from a friend tonight. She was wondering about the fact that she'd not heard from me in almost a month. Ever since, I've been swallowing down the lump in my throat and willing away tears. See, I love this friend, miss her. I've talked so many times about wishing I could go visit her. I've fretted over her health problems, and prayed for her. It is true, though, that none of this matters because she didn't know.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Today IT pursued me and oppressed me. As IT did, there was a little temper flare just under the surface, tears about to start over dumb stuff, and guilt taunting me with wicked laughter. IT ties knots in my shoulder muscles, puts a gnawing in my gut, and gets my head to pounding. I wish that the real world allowed me to slash the life out of IT. However, IT is elusive and tricky. IT appears by my choice, and IT appears without deliberation. IT tempts me, like few things, to be what I should not be. IT begs me to quit, to grumble and be discontent, and to hunt down something or someone to blame. Honestly, IT is annoying.

IT is stress. IT is that ugly, ugly thing that alters your world. We do sometimes create our own stress. We do. I remember well, though, a friend, who'd been going through a messy divorce with her daughter, saying that you can't always eliminate stress. Her doctor had told her that a crucial answer to her health problems was to get rid of stress. Ha! Sometimes life is stressful. It is. Sometimes we make poor choices that invite stress, but often, IT makes ITS own way in the door. The latter has been the story lately. It is preposterous to think that you might get up one morning wishing for - planning - an emergency trip to the hospital, or to clean up a whole quart of vegetable oil from the floor, or (in honor of Mom) to remove a whole jar of Vaseline from the hair and body of a feverishly sick little one (in the middle of preparing for a birthday party).

I am all for taking life by the horns and bringing it under control. I think that's a worthy endeavor. Sometimes, though, life wriggles out of your fist, yanks you up by the collar, and takes off running with you bouncing and bruising behind it. And in the middle of that bouncy, nightmarish ride, there must be sanity, a smile, and calm, composed pretending that life is still firmly held in your hand.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So what to tell my friend? I love her. I hope so much for her. I can give her excuses, which may really be reasons, but that is inadequate to make her feel wanted and loved. What she really needed was an email three weeks ago, but that was three weeks ago. This is now. She is hurt. I could have typed an email to her in the time it took to type this, but that wasn't what she wanted. She wanted an email without asking for it. Really, she deserved it. But I didn't write it.

Just for one week, I wish IT would go jump in the tempestuous sea and drown, leaving me to leisurely write to my friend.

Abundant Joy

2010-03-14T10:55:00.000-07:00

Today, as we continued studying in Genesis, we considered Abraham's obedience when God told him to sacrifice Isaac. It was asserted that Abraham had to absolutely trust God to be willing to obey what was contrary to his emotions and seemingly to the promise God had given him. It is a great example of where our motive for obedience lies. It is a matter of completely trusting God no matter how illogical it seems or how we feel about something.

I've been thinking further through the story. I had tears in my eyes as we listened to this account read aloud. When Abraham bound Isaac, I was heartbroken. I could not imagine tying up my child and reaching for the knife with which to slit his throat. I don't want to be able to imagine that. However, I could imagine the gratitude, the wonder, the joy, the utter relief and peace that I might have had when excused from such a seemingly horrific command. Just think what heights of joyous wonder Abraham got to experience as a result of his trust in and obedience to God. It has always been such a common pitfall to follow our feelings about something, or what makes sense to us, or to excuse ourselves or someone else from obedience when the perceived consequences feel beyond our/their ability to endure. What inferior outcomes we have experienced as we excused away utterly obeying God. We have often had our interpretive sensibilities dulled and distorted because we don't trust God enough to absolutely and always do things His way.

Saul has been an example of self inflicted joy theft. In 1 Samuel 13, he grew impatient and fearful while waiting for Samuel to offer sacrifices to God as an appeal for instruction (1 Samuel 10:8). As a result, the kingdom was not to remain in his family (13:13 - 14). The parallels between this story and Abraham's willingness to sacrifice Isaac are uncanny. Both men were to offer a sacrifice. Abraham was to offer his son. Saul was to wait for Samuel to offer a sacrifice for him. Abraham obeyed immediately, trusting God (Hebrews 11:17 - 19), and at the last second God blessed him with awesome mercy. Saul didn't wait through the very the last moment, but offered his sacrifice only to turn around and see Samuel arrive to fulfill God's word. Abraham was blessed at the last minute because he obeyed, and Saul was found guilty and punished at the last minute because he disobeyed.

What was the difference between the two men? Abraham trusted God with rock solid faith. Saul watched in fear rather than a composure of trust as the Philistines gathered for war against him and so acted in doubt of God with weak, conditional faith. Another difference? Saul reaped what he sowed. He doubted God, and so God failed to trust him with His people. The kingdom was torn from his sons forever. Abraham reaped quite differently because he had sown differently. He trusted God and obeyed, making way for a thrilling surprise and most abundant joy.

Trust and Obey

 When we walk with the Lord 
 in the light of his word, 
 what a glory he sheds on our way! 
 While we do his good will, 
 he abides with us still, 
 and with all who will trust and obey. 
Refrain:
 Trust and obey, for there's no other way 
 to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey. 

 Not a burden we bear, 
 not a sorrow we share, 
 but our toil he doth richly repay; 
 not a grief or a loss, 
 not a frown or a cross, 
 but is blest if we trust and obey. 
 (Refrain) 

 But we never can prove 
 the delights of his love 
 until all on the altar we lay; 
 for the favor he shows, 
 for the joy he bestows, 
 are for them who will trust and obey. 
 (Refrain) 

 Then in fellowship sweet 
 we will sit at his feet, 
 or we'll walk by his side in the way; 
 what he says we will do, 
 where he sends we will go; 
 never fear, only trust and obey. 
 (Refrain)

Jason During His First Dental Cleaning

2010-03-04T15:30:00.000-08:00

Notice Jason's timid, almost scared countenance. He was very, very good, but very, very nervous.

Jason Waiting for His First Dental Cleaning.

2010-03-04T15:22:00.000-08:00

Notice Jason's happy, carefree countenance.

A Classic

2010-03-03T13:48:00.001-08:00

Josiah announced today that he's going to be 6' and 4/4" when he grows up.

Overflowing

2010-03-01T20:46:00.000-08:00

I have had so many things on my mind. So many. I very commonly do this mind stuff in mental writing. I'm usually thinking as I would write, and sure that I will write here. It does not happen that way most of the time. So many, many times my thoughts fold into others and are filed in cranial recesses too far from reach to produce again. I am overflowing with things I want to say, so I decided to just begin. I may (probably) not say them all, but if I do not begin, I will say nothing, much like these last few sentences =)

(One of the big faults I have when writing is inconsistent use of verb tense. I started to go through and correct that, but decided it wasn't all that important to me tonight. Please overlook it.)

I've been studying 1 Samuel. There has been so much for reflection there that I had a hard time falling asleep Saturday night. One of the gems has recurred in my mind, and I have found myself almost haunted by it. Israel begged for a king so they could be like their "peers." Poor, poor God. All He wanted was to be their King, reigning in their civil affairs and especially their hearts. I admire Samuel for coming to His defense. Far more, I admire God for soothing Samuel when He, Himself, was being discarded. Our God has always been a God of composure and purpose. I marvel at the brilliant way that God gave the people exactly what they asked for, setting in motion consequences for the abandonment of Him while still extending great mercy. The fact that He bestowed Himself mightily upon Saul, knowing that Saul was not a spiritually invigorating king, but a worldly one, is far beyond ourselves. We would not be so kind. We might just thrust the thing that was wrongly asked for into the proverbial face and hope heartily, eagerly even, for the "victim" to get what was rightfully coming. In God's plan the people got what was rightfully needed, but not without the simultaneous envelopment of God's love and desire for them.

While not a new thought, it is a vital one, that Saul has the spirit of God come upon him mightily (1 Samuel 10:6, 10 11:6) and leave him as well (1 Samuel 16:14, 18:12). Sandwiched in the middle is Saul's disobedience. It is his undoing. Tragic. I have posted here somewhat recently about the importance of obeying God. It has been the subject of my meditation. It is vital in the purest definition of that word. Our own disobedience should disturb us and move us to mournful repentance. We should hang our heads in shame as we think of the pride that leads us to think we can better God's plan, His will. In Saul's Great Disobedience we read,
Samuel said, "Is it not true, though you were little in your own eyes, you were made the head of the tribes of Israel? And the LORD anointed you king over Israel, and the LORD sent you on a mission, and said, 'Go and utterly destroy the sinners, the Amalekites, and fight against them until they are exterminated.' Why then did you not obey the voice of the LORD, but rushed upon the spoil and did what was evil in the sight of the LORD?" Then Saul said to Samuel, I did obey the voice of the Lord, and went on the mission on which the LORD sent me, and have brought back Agag the king of Amalek, and have utterly destroyed the Amalekites.
Saul went into his kingship thinking little of himself and begins his way out of it by calling his tweaking of God's instruction obedience. Both things drip with pride. "In [his] own eyes" he was little. Don't we think so highly of ourselves when we think this way? The problem is that his focus was self. Being about the business of thinking little of ourselves or thinking grandly about ourselves is thinking about ourselves. We need to be emptied of ourselves and filled with God.

God knows the way we should take. He knows the end thereof: Himself. The way we should take according to God leads to eternal service to Him. Any discarding of His way or tweaking of it, is the wrong way, and does not lead to eternity with Him. Beautifully, touchingly, God's motive in His perfect instruction is love and utmost concern for our well being.

All this reflection about Saul's disobedience causes me to think of others who didn't go their own way, but God's. Please do not hold your breath, but I hope to continue this another time and specifically mention some of those who walked faithfully with and for God, sometimes with great personal sacrifice so that they might be completely obedient.

More Random Pictures

2010-02-27T10:44:00.000-08:00

Brennan finally gave in and fell asleep with Pawpaw.

Jason after grudgingly eating his lunch.

Haelley decided to pose for pictures. All the poses were head tilts =)

Jason playing dress up.

Jared's model of our house.

Random Pictures

2010-02-27T10:26:00.000-08:00

One day Haelley and Jason were not interested in eating their lunch. I found them hanging out like this. I guess they thought it would get them out of eating.

We all got to sign Brennan's cast. There are many die hard Kentucky fans around here, including Michael (thus the blue cast). John decided years ago to be a Louisville Cardinals fan just to be irritating. You can see his (irritating =) message on Brennan's cast.

Somebody put a beanie on Brennan, then Joshua put his headphones on him. He left it all on for several minutes. Isn't he cute?!

We've gotten enough snow to play in. You can see Joseph's daddy of a snowman. Poor Nancy made a whole family (seen partially in the background) which collapsed overnight.

Jason is loyal to some of his treasures - even while sleeping.

Sunday

2010-02-14T21:54:00.000-08:00

What a day. No exclamation point. Just plain old "what a day." I got up this morning and got right to the task of being ready to get out the door for Bible study and morning worship. Before leaving the church building we had a picture taken of the Dineen's who were present. Then we went to the store, got lunch for Michael and Elizabeth, and headed to their house. After dropping off things for them, we went home where I made pies to take to James' going away party, and John finished making our lunch. We ate, I put the leftover food away, and left with some of the boys to watch Michael play basketball in his YMCA league. (His team won.) While there, a friend stopped in to let me know she needed some help with the party for James. As a result, we went, after the game, to run some errands, then quickly home for me to change before evening Bible study because I had Dr. Pepper spill on my dress in the car. We had an encouraging prayer service then went to a member's house for James' going away party. That was a nice time of mingling and singing. Some of us went home after that, some to JW's for x-box night. JW came to our house so I could help him with a paper he's writing for psychology. We got about half way through that before needing to leave (in the snowstorm) to pick up the three boys who were at JW's. I got home with them, tucked Jason and James in, then sat down here to blog at nearly 1 AM. Do you see why I said, "what a day?"

Joshua's MRI results were normal! Praise God! He is doing very well now even without the medication. I am so glad and so grateful!

Jason is still doing better, but was wheezing again last night. He went to the eye doctor Tuesday. His vision was within normal for his gender and age. A relief to me. However, he has an autoimmune disorder (that Joshua also has) called vernal conjunctivitis. We started antihistamine drops Thursday. Hopefully they will control the symptoms and minimize complications. Unfortunately, the drops cost $99 for 25 days. Honestly, I'm fighting discouragement. I have seen the human limitations of the last few months as opportunities to see God's provision and to marvel at His goodness. This should be no different, and I'm frustrated to find myself discouraged. God has left NO REASON for discouragement ever, has He?

Brennan fell and broke his leg Friday night. Sadly, the break is an unusual one - and a serious one. The distal tibia sustained a buckle fracture near (into?) the growth plate. The orthopedic surgeon on call at the hospital was not recommended, so the decision was made to cast the leg and see a better surgeon this week. It seems the course of treatment will be either surgery followed by hard cast or just hard cast. Please pray that they can quickly get an appointment with a talented orthopedic doctor. Brennan has a vaccination appointment with his regular doctor tomorrow which they plan to keep (weather permitting). Hopefully, she can help them get prompt attention from a desired orthopedic surgeon.

James is planning to leave in the morning (Monday). The weather is snowy. The unprepared south has had much snow. I just am cringing and fretting over this. Again, my trust level is substandard. My facebook status is, "Because He lives I can face tomorrow..." I meant that. I meant that. I meant that. I can face this. I will be brave. I will trust God. I will. I will.

I don't even want to go to bed tonight. I know that once I fall asleep, James' departure will be upon me with that last fluttering of an eyelid. My baby boy. I still remember the nurse coming into my postpartum room and finding me asleep with James in my bed. She sweetly, but firmly, reminded me that if I wanted to sleep, the baby had to be in the bassinet. There was no choice for me. I stayed awake all night watching, loving, embracing, thanking God for my new boy. We watched the sun rise together in Papillion, NE that next morning. I hope to never forget that sunrise. I can remember so clearly the horizon as the sun slowly ascended in the sky. That was a night's sleep missed with no regret. Now the boy is off to the west to see the sun set by himself. May God watch over him as He did during his complicated birth.

Because He Lives

1. God sent His Son - they called Him Jesus,
He came to love, heal and forgive;
He lived and died to buy my pardon,
An empty grave is there to prove my Savior lives.

2. How sweet to hold a newborn baby
And feel the pride and joy he gives;
But greater still the calm assurance:
This child can face uncertain days because Christ lives.

3. And then one day I'll cross the river,
I'll fight life's final war with pain;
And then, as death gives way to victory,
I'll see the lights of glory - and I'll know He lives.

Chorus:

Because He lives I can face tomorrow,
Because He lives all fear is gone;
Because I know He holds the future
And life is worth the living just because He lives.

Wednesday

2010-02-10T09:03:00.000-08:00

Joshua's MRI was postponed to Friday morning. The doctor's office failed to fax the hospital the order, and they (doctor's office) are closed today because of weather. The medication is giving him relief until it wears off. That has been a big boost. He went to JW's house yesterday and spent the night. It was a good distraction and change of scenery.

Jason is still improving. In fact, I am very happy with his progress at this point.

John and I had dinner and a visit with James last night. It was a good, relaxing time. I'm so glad that we got to do that one more thing before he leaves.

The snow here is beautiful. I am so grateful for it!

Update

2010-02-08T11:19:00.001-08:00

I took Joshua to the doctor this morning. He had significant blood pressure issues, she thought indicated in his weakened condition, but a red flag, nevertheless. She did initially diagnose him with vertigo (labyrinthitis - there are many kinds of vertigo). However, double vision is not a vertigo symptom. She ordered an MRI (with =( and without contrast) to check for a brain tumor. That, Lord willing, will occur Wednesday evening.

Jason was another bit better this morning after a bad night. I'm thankful for that!

A Little Information

2010-02-07T13:14:00.000-08:00

A "little" because our main furnace is not working, and the computer resides in its domain. It's cold sitting here.

Just want to share...

Nancy does seem to be hearing much better. She (and Jason) go to the doctor for hearing tests and follow up on the 16th.

Jason has been having the most serious respiratory "stuff" that I've seen in him. He's very wheezy and congested in his chest. The breathing treatments are making slow progress. This morning was the first morning in a few that didn't alarm me. He's been acting well and has no fever. I hope he will clear up quickly.

Joshua had trouble traveling through the mountains on the way to Florida this past Monday. Since then, he's continued to be very dizzy. It appears that his eardrum perforated Friday night. Unfortunately, that didn't alleviate the dizziness. He had nausea but it is better. He said he can't tell that his hearing has been effected. I, too, am not noticing trouble hearing. If he is not remarkably better tomorrow morning I will take him to the doctor.

James is moving back to Arizona. He leaves the 15th - a week from tomorrow. I know, I know, adult children leave home and go their way; it's a natural part of life. It is. I've said so many times, you *should* be concerned when a child doesn't mature enough to be individually responsible. However, I am so hesitant to find joy in his departure. I am dreading this last "count down" week. Please pray for him as he travels 1800 miles by himself and that he will thrive spiritually (and every other way) as he makes his adult way.

I've had knee problems, though the last two weeks have been certainly tolerable. I see an orthopedic surgeon on the 17th. I had an xray that revealed deteriorating cartilage in October 2008. I opted not to do anything about it at that time. I think it must be deteriorating further. It will be nice to have it fixed. Now that pain hasn't been a constant factor, I am challenged by the changed lifestyle and new way of accomplishing my work. In time, it will all be habit, I'm sure, but right now, it can be a frustration. (I'm sure that it's good for my boys to have to serve me. In fact, they do it without being asked. I do not naturally like to ask for help. I am not a delegater.)

Ok, I'm shivering. Back to the family room where the furnace does work.

Brennan's 1st Birthday

2010-01-31T18:23:00.000-08:00

This was taken at Brennan's birthday party, three days after the official day. Cake seemed to be a hit =)

This is Brennan on his birthday. Our two youngest had had surgery that morning, but I really wanted to see the The Boy on his day. I enjoyed visiting him that evening for a bit.

A Thought, Part Two

2010-01-31T17:57:00.000-08:00

On Sunday nights our preacher is going through Genesis. Tonight we studied chapter 12 in which God tells Abram to go up from his home to an unknown place. Again, like Noah, he simply went when told. It occurred to me as Abram's prosperity was discussed, that his obedience was only part of a chain reaction of good and right. It was God Who really brought about prosperity and blessing because *He* gave the orders. Sure, we participate through our obedience, but God is all wise, and as a result, doing His will is superior to our own. Our absolute obedience, even when we can't make sense of the order, logically or emotionally, is essential for our own well being because God is sovereign. No amount of rationalizing or excuse making from our meager selves can register any competition for the wisdom of the Master Planner and Creator.

A Thought

2010-01-17T19:40:00.000-08:00

Tonight we listened to a sermon about the account of the flood. The point was made that the story is told with no detail of Noah's thoughts or feelings. We just don't know anything about that. It was also mentioned that we really know very little of the realities of the human experience during the whole thing; that in fact, when we retell the story, we often embellish with conjecture of our own imagining. Surely it is hard not to ask all those questions about the building of the ark and the many logistical curiosities on the ark - for a year, no less.

I wondered tonight, though, about "why" God is so brief about things that we would've spent much space and effort telling. I might suggest that it could be our emotional response *should* be based only on what God revealed: that men were evil, that mass destruction was the consequence, and that Noah was righteous enough to be spared by God through his obedience as God instructed him.

If I concentrate on that - on just what is recorded for us - I find myself feeling grief over such a tragedy. How devastating it surely is for God to watch His masterpiece be maimed to the point that He just wants to scrap the whole thing. The point was made tonight as well that we don't see Noah speaking at all until after the flood account is complete. He simply obeyed all that he was commanded.

My other response is admiration for Noah's trust and radical obedience. Even greater is the awe as we see God spare of small piece of the masterpiece in order that He might start all over, knowing that men will still be evil.

It's surely interesting to imagine what all may have transpired that is not recorded, but I think it was good to reflect tonight on just what God shared and no more. Our immediate and complete obedience *is* required. No arguing. No watering down. No excuses. Period. The flood is also a very stark reminder of how ugly and destructive our sin is and how generously merciful God is to fool with us at all, let alone that "it pleased the Lord to bruise [Jesus]" for us. Isaiah 53:10 .

Surgery Day (cont'd)

2010-01-14T15:05:00.000-08:00

Surgery Day

2010-01-14T15:02:00.000-08:00

I am feeling so grateful! I asked God to allow both kiddos to be healthy enough to keep the original surgery date. I am grateful for His blessing in allowing that. Both children did well.

Nancy had thick, gluey gunk in both ears. It was so thick that the normal suction wouldn't pull it through. The doctor had to get out the larger suction tool. Her adenoids were (expectedly) huge. She will have a hearing test in four weeks to check for success.

Jason's retraction pocket had not grown in diameter but had markedly in depth. It left the eardrum flimsy and weak. Draining the ear and placing the tube should allow the eardrum to return to normal. His other tube was removed and replaced to give both ears the same calendar. The doctor thought, from observing the ears, that he would need multiple sets of tubes. That is common with a cleft palate. We had hoped for uncommon, because he has been atypical in so many ways so far. Oh well. I am so grateful that his hearing is better than normal for a child with a cleft and that he is doing so much better than was predicted in his early months.

All the pictures are before surgery except the wheelchair one. Nancy must have been wiggly as both her solos are blurry. Oh, it was so nice to have one bed for both before surgery. It eliminated the need to be in two places at once. There was only a brief (seconds) time when we needed to be in two places afterwards. I was grateful that the hospital staff was so accomodating. God certainly blessed us with a great outcome and an equally good experience. Thanks to Him!

The Grandchildren

2010-01-05T19:11:00.000-08:00

Joseph's Endeavors

2010-01-02T10:52:00.000-08:00

While I was sick (for several days) we got a bit of snow. Joseph wrote a message for me in the snow.
Joseph recently found a dead coyote on our property. It was cold enough then to have frozen it. He decided to make himself a rug. With the advice of experience, he successfully skinned, cleaned and preserved the hide. He now has some fine tuning to do with cleaning and aesthetics. He has devoted several hours to this project in "typical of Joseph" style.

I'm Back

2009-12-27T21:55:00.000-08:00

I haven't posted here for about seven months. It has been a full, very full, seven months. I'm wondering if anybody is even still checking here. If you are, would you please leave some brief comment so I know if it is a waste of time to post anything meaningful? Thanks!

Sad News

2009-05-26T00:16:00.001-07:00

I found out today that our baby has died. The ultrasound measurements indicate that the baby was seventeen weeks when death occurred. That was three weeks ago. I am in a dazed or weepy state of shock. It's just so sad, sad, sad. Anyway, tomorrow we are going to the hospital to induce labor. The drug they will be using scares me a little bit. It has some risk. Please pray for all of us as we figure out how to cope and how to accept this undesired reality.

A Picture Is Worth a Thousand Words

2009-05-11T22:30:00.000-07:00

I really wanted to post pictures with very, very few words. That would be far more effective and poignant. Alas, it is not to be. It seems my computer doesn't like the high capacity card from my camera. Bryan, our computer savvy friend, told me how to upload from the card in an alternate way, but that's not working now either. Argh.

So, what I want you to know is that James - all by himself - gave me a dozen pink roses for Mother's Day. They are gorgeous, but you will have to imagine because a picture is not going to appear here today.

Also, John took a picture of Jason Sunday that we whole heartedly agreed should find its way to the blog. Not happenin' either. We had corn on the cob for lunch. Jason asked me to cut his corn off the cob - more than once. John hadn't heard his requests nor my dissent and suggested that Jason might need me to cut the corn off his cob. I asserted that maybe we should have him try and not baby his slight handicap. He ate that corn off the cob with the greatest of ease and efficiency. It's amazing how little things that we take for granted and all do are such victories for Jason. (Though he is blissfully unaware of that.) The picture - again - is much better than my story, but you will have to live without.

What I Think

2009-04-19T22:20:00.000-07:00

It seems my thinking cap is stuck on my head. So many things go 'round and 'round in my mind as I sort through and try to discern wisdom and truth. Recent events send another wave of thoughts surging through, so I'm going to share...

I think that people (me too) should live cheerfully and with noble purpose.

I think complaining is destructive and depressing.

I think funerals and them that mourn are interesting and worthy of pondering.

I think we should really live like there's no tomorrow, not just say we should.

I think God's standards are perfect and full of peace.

I think friends aren't always "friends forever if the Lord's the Lord of them," but they should be.

I think God said on purpose that children are a gift from Him, even an abundance of them.

I think that sin is sinister and creepy, slinking around inconspicuously, ruining lives and leaving the masses blaming something or someone else.

I think we should say sin more and not feel old fashioned or embarrassed about it.

I think we should hate sin passionately even when righteousness brings about greater (temporary) suffering.

I think I should live all the time like the dead people did whose loved ones go on and on and on about their impeccable character.

I think we should remember that nobody, not one person save Jesus, has been or ever will be perfect, even our beloved and cherished dead.

I think it's the pits to disagree with others.

I think it's equally the pits to be falsely accused and never given the chance for redemption.

I think I've probably contradicted myself.

I think God is simply and complexly wonderful and definitely worth enduring the waiting room we live in on earth.

I think my mom is a terrific person who doesn't get near enough credit for being so.

I think my dad is an amazing prayer warrior.

I think the Bible is fascinating and exciting, never dull and irrelevant.

I think we should do really hard things just for the character it produces.

I think that very few people are still reading this list =)

I think I should go to bed with a sincere prayer of thanksgiving on my mind.

The Little One

2009-04-14T23:15:00.001-07:00

I was trying to think of a way to announce to any who read here that we are expecting a baby this coming fall. I decided to find a picture of a baby in utero to accompany the announcement. This picture gripped me because the baby is fourteen weeks, just the same gestation as our new, growing little one. We have an awesome Creator!

A Good Picture

2009-04-14T23:08:00.001-07:00

Joshua took this picture of he and Jason. I thought it was sweet. John thought it "bloggable," so here you are.

The Fun

2009-04-14T23:04:00.000-07:00

Some of the boys after finding their eggs...

Nancy coming down the stairs Easter morning for the egg hunt...

Colored Eggs

2009-04-14T22:56:00.000-07:00

We bought neon food coloring this year to color our eggs. They turned out very nice. Nature did her work too. Some were quite interesting with the patterns that nature manifested. You can see Jason's Spider Man egg. He was really excited about that.

Daredevil James

2009-04-07T20:58:00.000-07:00

This is the video that I wanted to post when I posted bike/blade videos awhile back. I couldn't get this one to work then. Thanks to the help of a generous friend (you know who you are!) here it is now.

John's New Motorcycle

2009-03-28T10:10:00.000-07:00

JW bought a new motorcycle. It's a 2001 Honda CBR. Nice looking bike.

Our New Driver

2009-03-28T09:38:00.000-07:00

Joshua is taking a driving class today. The BMW 328i is what he's driving. The course is offered by the non-profit organization, Driver's Edge. The organization is run by a race car driver who was fed up with young driver statistics. Indeed, the number one killer of young people 16 - 2o is car crashes. The founder offers classes to young people which teach them skills to avoid a crash as well as controlling and minimizing a safety compromising situation. The classes are taught by race car drivers in controlled environments. (You can see the race track surrounding the car in the picture.) One skill Joshua is compelled to demonstrate today is the ability to create a skid and then correct it. I am hopeful that the class will equip him with the ability to drive safer and be accident free for life.

Make Me Like Jesus

2009-03-24T22:27:00.000-07:00

I want to see myself and others as Jesus does...

Jesus looked at the demon possessed man and loved him. He did not fear the extreme violence before Him. He did not cower or feel repulsion. He loved him and extended His gift - freedom from his bondage.

Jesus looked at the children and loved them. He didn't see them as an interruption. He didn't see them as a nuisance. He didn't see them as walking germs. He touched them. Exalted them as a worthy example.

Jesus looked at the woman at the well and loved her. He didn't angrily reprimand her. He gently, ever so gently, exposed her sin and offered her hope of forgiveness - of new life. He risked His reputation to sit and talk with her.

Jesus looked at the man lowered before Him and loved him. He didn't see him as a disruption. He didn't see the "modification" to the house as destructive. He was glad to be sought. He healed the man and commended his faith.

Jesus encountered the woman caught in adultery and loved her. He was not disgusted by her. He was not indignant. He quieted her angry accusers and sent her away to a life of purity.

Jesus looked at the proud Pharisee praying his arrogant prayer. Quickly his gaze turned elsewhere. He looked at the man who had sinned and was thus grieved and loved him. He used him as an example of proper posture before God.

Jesus looked at the thief on the cross next to Him and loved Him. He didn't revel in his due consequences. He looked beyond and saw his humility - his honest desire for forgiveness and gave it.

Do I - do you - see people as Jesus sees them? Do we love them? Do we grieve for their lostness? Do we remain calm and composed as Jesus always did and create opportunities to lead people to Himself? Do we sit with the sinner and listen to him? Do we love him? Do we sacrifice sleep, a meal, our time to embellish the opportunity? Can we change course and leave our comfort zones to rescue a lost and suffering soul?

I am appalled at myself and at other Christians who lose our way. Our mooring is not fixed as it should be when we neglect to look through the eyes of our Lord at the masses - or the individual - and love them. Lost souls are never a nuisance, a thing to be gotten rid of. They are God's creation with a bit of His nature wrapped 'round.

It is easy to say, b-b-b-b-ut and seek to justify (like I have done), but we should be humble and remember the truth. The truth will set us free to behave as Jesus would and did. Oh that His mercy will extend forgiveness as we have erred.

Cute Picture

2009-03-13T16:48:00.001-07:00

When we went to the mountains last weekend our friends brought their dog. The dog is a mastiff - a large breed. Jason just loved her. If ever Jason was "missing," we just had to look go see the dog.

Josiah Again

2009-03-06T21:37:00.000-08:00

Nancy

2009-03-06T21:26:00.000-08:00

Nancy started this school year with few basic skills. Writing/coloring were always very hard for her. She wasn't able to form any letter, let alone write her name. Coloring remotely in the lines was also an impossibility. She has worked hard at writing and as improved so much! Amazing. Just in the last week or two, she's been trying to write words by sounding them out. This week she was to make a shopping list. You see it here.

I have a video of her reading, but I cannot get it to upload to the computer (along with several other bloggable videos.)

James

2009-03-06T20:14:00.000-08:00

A friend made ramps for the kids because he knows they've been interested in BMX, skateboarding and roller blading. They have worked on doing all kinds of stunts. This is James.

(Too bad he didn't land his vault from the loft this well. He might not now be in pain.)

What a shot!

2009-03-06T20:12:00.001-08:00

Josiah has been doing round-offs over the ramps. James got this picture in the middle of one.

After I posted the above photo, I found this video. This was taken the first day he tried these. You can tell he's a bit timid - for Josiah anyway.

Misc Jason

2009-03-06T20:07:00.000-08:00

As much as Jason doesn't like breathing treatments, he is resigned to them. He actually does it himself, and yes, often falls asleep during them.

This is another Spiderman impersonation. Anything that will cover his face and become a mask. So cute.

Jason

2009-02-24T14:48:00.000-08:00

A lot of you know that Jason has been cycling through respiratory illness over the last seven months. Sunday he started displaying the first minor symptom which has been the beginning of each of the these cycles. Sure enough he eyes are very infected, his nose running and his lungs sounding croupy. I am discouraged by this recurrence and hope to be wise in caring for him. I would be so grateful for your prayers.

Every child, it seems, has to have a sleeping at the table picture. This was after lunch. Instead of getting down after eating, he just went to sleep.

The first haircut happened last week. I don't like those, but the time comes. The adorable curls are gone and the boy looks almost 2, as he is. I have a before picture, but it's on John's phone which is not here. Will try to post it soon.

Jason got his first (short) ride on the motorcycle recently. I wished during the whole thing that I could see his face. Can't really say if he like it or not.

"Piah-Mah"

2009-02-14T10:15:00.000-08:00

Jason is very, very interested in Spider Man. He can find the movies on the movie shelf and then carries them around. He imitates sounds and movements. (The gyrations are adorable.) He bought a Spider Man backpack on wheels yesterday. Now we just need a trip to go with it =)

A Match

2009-02-14T10:13:00.000-08:00

We discovered that 6 year old Josiah and 5 year old Sarah from church are at an identical stage of dental development. Here's proof.

Setting Things Straight

2009-02-03T05:39:00.000-08:00

When someone asks the question, "Do the ten commandments still apply to us today?" I cringe. I know what's coming next - usually anyway. The common answer is, "All those that are repeated in the New Testament, so all but the Sabbath." That's just wrong.

Hebrews 4:9 says "There remains therefore a Sabbath rest for the people of God" and further in vs. 11 "Let us therefore be diligent to enter that rest..."

The right answer, at least about the Sabbath, is yes, it most definitely does apply today. In fact, to think otherwise is an affront to the gift, the sacrifice, the suffering of Christ. Like so many other things from the Old Testament, the Sabbath is a shadow of things to come. In fact, a mighty powerful shadow it is. The Sabbath makes stark the reality of sin's entrance into the world and its resulting punishment. The reason there is need for the Sabbath under the old law is because sin creates harder, repetitive work for man. Resting from that work, reminds him of that.

Now, we have a spiritual rest, but it is very similar to the old rest. It is still sin that creates the need for spiritual rest. Jesus, the awe striking Savior, becomes our much needed Sabbath. Praise Him for that!

When someone utters the question about the validity of the ten commandments, we are given a great opportunity to remind and be reminded of what a gracious and generous God we serve and love by affirming the Sabbath as yet quite applicable. If it's not we are in grave trouble indeed.

Leslie and Brennan

2009-01-27T21:39:00.000-08:00

Leslie, the wonderful friend that she is, brought supper for us Friday night. It was yummy lasagne, garlic bread, salad and an amazing red velvet cake. We talked her into holding the baby (for the first time, I think) and staying to visit. It was delightful.