Deuteronomy 29:6:
You have not eaten bread, nor have you drunk wine or strong drink, in order that you might know that I am the Lord your God.
I have been praying prayers of physical healing for others recently. This morning there was a desperateness about it too. Then I read Deut. 29. I know I posted something similar before about chapter eight, but it is so profound to me that God works in all kinds of ways to generously give us the opportunity to know Him. It is utterly astounding that He seeks us - wants us - at all, but the fact that we can absolutely trust Him is so comforting. When we have to go without the thing(s) we desperately want, it is good. Hard. My heart (yours too?) gets so set on some of the things I long to be true that I am discontented and whiny when they are not. Reality is that the fact I am going without, or watching loved ones go without, is testimony to the GOODNESS of God. He is always providing the very best, even giving us the best of droughts that we might KNOW HIM. There is no (and None) better.

Deuteronomy 7:21-23:
21 You shall not be in dread of them, for the LORD your God is in your midst, a great and awesome God.
22 The LORD your God will clear away these nations before you little by little. You may not make an end of them at once, lest the wild beasts grow too numerous for you.
23 But the LORD your God will give them over to you and throw them into great confusion, until they are destroyed.

This struck me. Well it did too. God intended to defeat the inhabitants of the Promised Land absolutely, but He intended to do it slowly so that the wild animals wouldn't take over more quickly than the Israelites could settle the land. What a comforting thought it is that God is never "slow" without purpose. When it seems that deliverance and fulfillment of promises are slow in coming, it can give me cause for peaceful calm and joyful gratitude because I can trust that God is working in just the right way - for the very best outcome in my life. What a beautiful thought!

Procrastination has been a nasty flaw in my life. I have found that if I think I don't have the time to do something well, or if I think something will not likely be successful, or if I am pretty sure that something will be clearly and awfully unpleasant,then I often procrastinate.

This morning I was reading in John 18, and I noticed something in a different way than I have before. When Jesus was in the garden of Gethsemane that last night the conniving mob came to arrest Him. He saw them first and stepped out of the protection of night. John recorded this for us: 'Then Jesus, knowing all that would happen to him, came forward and said to them, "Whom do you seek?"' After He was seized Peter angrily swung his sword, trying in impulsive protection mode, to defend Jesus. Jesus spoke to Peter, '"Put your sword into its sheath; shall I not drink the cup that the Father has given me?"'

Jesus knew what He needed to be done, and He courageously and decisively did it. No delay. No excuses. That caused me to marvel. There was not the semblance of procrastination, just prompt, responsible, and stout resolve to begin working on the task at hand. What an awesome example Jesus always has set for me!

The rest of mankind, who were not killed by these plagues, did not repent of the works of their hands, so as not to worship demons, and the idols of gold and of silver and of brass and of stone and of wood, which can neither see nor hear nor walk; and they did not repent of their murders nor of their sorceries nor of their immorality nor of their thefts. (Revelation 9:20, 21 NASB)
Men were scorched with fierce heat; and they blasphemed the name of God who has the power over these plagues, and they did not repent so as to give Him glory. Then the fifth angel poured out his bowl on the throne of the beast, and his kingdom became darkened; and they gnawed their tongues because of pain, (Revelation 16:9, 10 NASB)

Our congregation has been reading through Revelation every week for a few months now. Many things have impacted me, but today I want to share the startling lesson from the verses above.
May it never, ever be that my heart would be so cold and hard as to not respond to the discipline of God with humble repentance and reverence for Him. It is simply and utterly chilling to think about what the wicked did as a result of God's just and right punishment. Doesn't it make you shiver with fear for them? What a stark warning:
"and you have forgotten the exhortation which is addressed to you as sons,
"MY SON, DO NOT REGARD LIGHTLY THE DISCIPLINE OF THE LORD,
NOR FAINT WHEN YOU ARE REPROVED BY HIM; FOR THOSE WHOM THE LORD LOVES HE DISCIPLINES,
AND HE SCOURGES EVERY SON WHOM HE RECEIVES." It is for discipline that you endure; God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom his father does not discipline?" (Hebrews 12:5-7 NASB)

The younger kiddos, of course, do not remember 9/11. Jared has had a lot of curiosity because he hears so much but has no personal memories. He decided to do his research project on that event. We went to the library yesterday and got a book about it that came with a DVD of all the newscasts from that day. They are watching now. Very interesting to listen to them - it's their 1st time to see it all, and so the impact is large and fresh. Very interesting.

The kiddos and I have been studying the life of Christ. As I have prepared to teach it, I have been often impressed with Him. I just began today to look more thoroughly at the calling of the fishermen. I was still carrying around my young child take in this story. I remember being taught and impressed by these guys who with blind faith left everything to follow this man they didn't know because of His commanding and compelling presence.
Studying this more carefully, I understand that these men had been following Jesus around for a while already - maybe close to a year. John's gospel gives us time markers which help to see that progression of things.
With the knowledge that Peter, Andrew, James, and John already knew Jesus well when He called them to be fishers of men, I am impressed with Jesus far more than with the men. Oh sure, it took remarkable faith and loyalty to leave *everything* and go away with Jesus. However, it the Son of Man,Jesus, who impacted them greatly enough to build in their hearts such great faith. They had been John's followers first (John 1:35-42.) Then when being "introduced" to Jesus by John with such confidence on John's part, they began to follow Jesus around, going with Him to the wedding at Cana - John 2:1-11 - then all the way to Jerusalem and back again to Galilee - John 1:12 - 2:46. By the time He called them to follow Him from their fishing expedition at the sea of Galilee, Jesus had displayed such remarkable wisdom, purity, and power that walking away from everything was easy.
Am I that impressed with Jesus? Do I find it easy to follow Him? (Matthew 11:28-30) This is really convicting to me. Jesus expressed frustration as seen in John that people had to have a sign to believe. They didn't find Him alone to be enough reason for belief. He walked on the earth as the Son of God pouring out the wonderful new covenant straight from the Father. What a privilege indeed to leave everything and follow the Son of the Most High God, Creator and Master of all! Oh that He would remind me of that all along the way!

I am looking for some advice. Over the years I have had children make something for me or someone else that I, or the other person, end up not knowing what should be done with it. It is for that reason that I am not a fan of cards. When I receive one it may really touch me, but then I don't know what to do with it. I feel guilty, ungrateful, and wasteful throwing them away. I have saved some for crafts, which isn't bad, but even then they build up. It's like that with those little gifts that are made by little hands or dug out of their pile of stuffed animals. What do you do with them?
The thing I want advice about is what to do when I have a sap for a child who wants to give gifts for everyone's special day or occasion. The gifts are, again, an old toy or stuffed animal that was grabbed up without any thought but how fun it is to give something, or a hastily created something or other.
I have explained that when we give a gift we do so for the benefit of the recipient, and that it should cost something of us. It doesn't change the always present process though. I don't want to "hurt feelings," but I know how awkward it is to receive one of these gifts. (After my surgery, a child gave me a baby toy belonging to them simply because they wanted to give a gift.)
How do I encourage thoughtfulness but refine the gift giving itself? Personally I think it's better not to give a gift than to give a useless one just for the sake of giving one.
Let me know what you think.

Over the years I have off and on thought about he "sharp disagreement" that Paul and Barnabas had in Acts 15. I have seen misapplications of that story for the end of excuse making in some difficult disagreement. I have found myself championing Barnabas while not really vilifying Paul, but because I prefer his side and identify more with it.

A recent discussion made me think more about the disagreement between these two men. I kept wondering at the question of how to know when to be a Paul and when to be a Barnabas. Further, I have been asking why is there a picking of sides. Neither man was wrong in the disagreement. Both had valid, even noble, reasons for their opinions. So what then? How do you apply this in your own disagreements?

My conclusion thus far is respect and humility. Sometimes there are disagreements with a right and a wrong side. The incident with Paul and Barnabas, however, isn't that. Both men were thinking and deciding rightly but oppositely. Both men were obviously pleasing to God. However, they DISAGREED.

Paul was about the business of preaching the gospel and of strengthening the saints. It was his mission, his life, his passion. Barnabas was a man for the individual. He was an encourager of the small person, not just the huge mob. Paul's way of thinking led to great productivity and many victories for God. Barnabas's way of thinking led to the reformation of an individual. Both men had a grand impact. Both men loved God and honestly pursued His goals, and that is all that really matters.

This story seems far less to me a lesson in how to resolve a fight (though it may be that) and more of an admonishment to respect and be grateful for the equally useful, though very different, gifts, methods and personalities of each other.

So when you hear "Paul" arguing his case with you, or when you hear "Barnabas" pleading his, evaluate honestly. Is the other person deciding something sinfully, or is it just different from your best ideas? Again, be honest - humble. Maybe you are wrong. Be willing to check into what God has to say about a matter and accept the truth. When that is done, if neither person has a sinful stance, then respect the one opposite of yours and do everything with the motive of glorifying God on His terms. Be a Barnabas. Be a Paul. Either is valid.