The Birth of a Belief

When I was little - younger than 11 - my mom made a decision that she told me about many years later. At that time we traveled about thirty minutes to church one way. One Wednesday night it was blustery cold, and I believe there was snow on the roads. My sisters and I were told to dress in pantsuits. (Now, there's a term from the past!) That was quite a deviation from the normal skirts or dresses which we always wore to church. However, my mom was concerned for our safety should we have car trouble or difficulty with the winter driving conditions. She wanted us bundled just in case. She took a risk in making her decision, though. One woman in the congregation believed strongly and publicly that women (and girls) should only wear dresses. (I think perhaps she believed that for all times, but certainly she did believe it was the only correct attire for church. Mom, you can clarify this point if you want.) By telling my sisters and me to wear pants, she risked being ostracized and rebuked strongly. When my mom told me that story in my adult years, I think it was the first time I ever knew that some people felt so strongly about what to wear, especially to church.

Later, in 1991, I grew frustrated with the frequency of lesbianism and feminism in the news. I didn't understand why women were so unhappy with being women. It just seemed obvious to me that women were different than men, and that, as a result, they were better suited for different roles. Certainly, God intended it to be so.

I wanted to respond to the identity crisis that plagued so many women in this country. I decided that I could very publicly, but quietly, make a statement about embracing femininity by choosing to dress differently. I went to the thrift stores and bought a whole new wardrobe of skirts and dresses. I determined to wear them exclusively when in public and even at home most of the time. I did so for many years.

During our years in Indiana I noticed many women dressed much like me. I wondered about them because there were a lot of them - women and young girls alike. Finally, I discovered that they were part of a specific denomination that teaches that women must dress in dresses, have long hair and no jewelry or make- up. I went to the Internet and discovered that this denomination also teaches things that are clearly condemned by God in the Bible. It troubled me that my appearance might associate me with them and the false teaching they were known for.

The message that I wanted my choice of attire to send about femininity was negated by the prominent presence of this group in our area. I went to the thrift store again, this time buying jeans. I had not worn jeans more times than I could've counted on one hand in more than a decade. It was odd to put them on again, but it was what my conscience required.

Many people had never seen me wearing anything but a skirt or dress. In fact, even after making my change, I continued to wear a skirt or dress to church. I knew there were some who strongly preferred that for the women, maybe even required it for themselves as a matter of conscience. I didn't want to offend anyone.

One busy Wednesday, I was running late to be ready to leave for church. When John saw that I was going to take the time to change my clothes, he stopped me and said, "That's fine," referring to my jeans and simple shirt. I felt very strange walking into church in jeans after so many years of not. Apparently it wasn't strange to just me. One person commented that, "of anyone in the group he never expected to see Karen wearing jeans," expressing his displeasure.

Since that time I have decided to look at what the Bible has to say about how we dress. It has been an interesting look - and a challenge of my traditional thoughts and practices. In upcoming posts, I hope to tell about my journey through the Bible on this topic.