Commentary

Earlier John helped me post all the pictures surrounding the time of Jason's surgery. I knew that several would be looking here for some news, so I wanted there to be something. However, I didn't have time to write about our day then, but I might try (at 2:40 AM) to do a little of that.

First of all, let me say that I was doubting my physical and emotional ability to cope with yesterday. Monday was a difficult day for me because I was feeling so spent. It made me really worry about whether or not I could do what a mom would need to do. I spent time praying about that Monday night, and I know that others were praying about that as well. Well, God answered those prayers so generously. The day yesterday, while not worry or problem free, was so much easier in every way than I expected! I continued through the hospital experience to feel strong and optimistic.

It's now 2:44 AM and Jason is "calling." I will write more later...

10:44 PM: Later turned out to be a long time later. Jason has had a good day today. Every person should have such a pleasant personality. He has smiled and even laughed today. He was not normal, but trying very hard to be.

Getting him to eat yesterday was a big challenge. Today has been better. I just shifted my thinking and fed him smaller amounts more often. By tonight I was able to increase the quantity. I am hoping that we can gain even more ground tomorrow. It is common for them to lose some weight after lip and cleft repair surgeries, but he is so small that I hope to minimize that.

He is supposed to wear elbow splints to keep him from touching his mouth. A mom who has walked in our shoes gave us an alternative idea of tying ribbon around his wrists and pinning the other end to his clothes. Neither thing has been very successful. He works his way out of the splints - accidentally so far. Because he is a very capable sitter he just folds himself over to get to his hand if they are tied at his sides. The best thing was to use both, but even then the ribbon kept coming untied. I'm still brainstorming to come up with something better. In the interim, we are making sure that he is always covered with a responsible set of eyes.

I was hoping to take a picture of him today but didn't get it done. It might be best. I have been working, a little at a time, to clean the dried blood from his nose. I think one more session will complete the task, which might be a good time for a new picture.

I wanted to tell about the blessings in the day yesterday. Of course, Jason was unable to eat within several hours of the surgery. I was dreading the nearly hour long drive to the hospital, thinking he would cry the whole time. But he didn't. He went off to sleep. Once at the hospital he was happy and playful. The picture yesterday of him in the toy car is precious to me. Joshua put him in there while I was coaching on how to keep him from falling out and pretty much being spastically worried. But Jason knew just what to do. He grabbed the steering wheel and navigated safely around the pre-op room (with Joshua as his manpower.) After his "drive" he got a little bit fussy and fell asleep in my arms. I got to hold him for about 30 - 40 minutes while he slept. That was truly a gift.

While I enjoyed the cuddle time our team of doctors and assistants came in one at a time. I liked them all. The doctor encouraged me so much by saying how remarkably Jason had changed since birth. He said the pictures taken in his office were incredible and that he was well prepared orthodontically for a good outcome. That made all those mouth tapings worth their hassle. The anesthesiologist was wonderful. She was so pleasant and sweet. She even showed me pictures of her four children and remarked how great it was that I had eleven. Those encounters made handing Jason over much easier. I didn't even have tears in my eyes.

Another huge blessing came during surgery. The pre-op nurse had checked and discovered that there wasn't a place for me to use my breast pump. I had brought my newly acquired car adapter cord, but didn't relish the thought of scrunching down in the back of the truck cab in the parking garage to carry out my duty. I decided to try one more thing and ask the waiting room volunteer if there was a private place for me. She unlocked a conference room in the waiting area for me to use. It wasn't perfect either, but so much better than trekking to the truck and using its cramped quarters.

The surgery was supposed to be 1 1/2 - 2 hours but lasted 2 1/2 hours. Thankfully, with the things I had to do and little conversations here and there, the first 2 hours passed pretty quickly and calmly. I was very antsy after 2 hours because I had to wonder if there was a problem that caused the longer time. That was not the case, however. The surgeon and the anesthesiologist both said everything was perfect - not even any little problems.

Our post-op nurse was very kind too. She was relaxed and very comfortable with me calling the shots about going home. That was super. I never felt pressured to leave or to stay based on some ominous criteria. We left when I felt like Jason was ready to go. It made the transition from hospital to home much smoother.

Thank you all for praying. I have been so grateful for God's blessings and provision. I really (as I said earlier) doubted my stamina to walk through this surgery, but it was really a very easy day yesterday.